Healing

Posted on Tue Feb 4th, 2025 @ 10:40pm by Lieutenant Commander P’rel M.D & Lieutenant Commander Savin

Mission: Character Development
Location: P'Rel's office
Timeline: En-Route to Planet Killer
1906 words - 3.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Seeming like a man with unfinished business to attend to, Savin strode into the CIO's office and quietly closed the door behind him. Remembering his last conversation with the Vulcan woman and somehow having been forced to leave her in a state that was less than ideal still nagged at his conscience. He didn't like having had to leave her and he had intended to return but he'd never had the chance to. Until now...

His expression and bearing were somewhere between very worried and apologetic as he approached her desk, steeling himself for another cold reception which was generally the case when he approached her. Still, despite his genuine concern for her wellbeing, part of him greatly enjoyed their verbal sparring, and if asked he would admit to having missed it.

"P'Rel?" He queried in order to draw her attention. "May we speak? I fear our last conversation was interrupted as I was called away, I must apologize for leaving you when you clearly were... upset. How do you ah ... feel now?"

The PADD at eye-height moved slowly down reveal Counsellor Savin as if her were raising from the ground. Looking at him with some scepticism, she afforded herself the usual opportunity to cross swords with the man. "Discussing feelings is a highly sensitive and culturally eschewed act for a Vulcan, Counsellor..." she began, dropping the PADD on the desk. "Do you often practice with such racial and cultural insensitivity, or is it an ignorance you reserve solely for myself?".

"Indeed," the counselor agreed, "and I do when it is needed, obviously. As you are aware, I am raised Vulcan. However, during our last conversation you were in a severe state of upset, and I wish to make certain that you have not experienced such an episode again." He paused. "You mentioned a sibling," he added slowly, watching her closely for a reaction.

The Vulcan shielded her flinch as Savin probed. "M'Tan" she confirmed. "What of him?". She purposefully ignored the counsellor's remaining queries about her reactions, and retained her typically defensive position.

"Are you close to your brother?" He ventured carefully, taking note of her defensiveness, "prior to our last conversation you had not mentioned a sibling before. Tell me about him, is he an older or younger sibling?"

"My familial relationships are all in my medical, biographic, and service records; which I am sure you have already accessed..." P'rel defensively chided; "...have you not?".

"I have, but I doubt you are surprised at how it lacks detail? It holds very little information regarding your family." He crossed his arms over his chest, a somewhat sensitive move still. "From what I gathered from our last conversation, I can only assume, given your reaction to a word I used, that your brother was assimilated?"

"He was" she confirmed. "Do you believe that has relevance to my operational capacity?"

"It might," Savin admitted, "depending on your emotional wellbeing. You indicated that you meditate, but you also mentioned an emotional journey in one of our prior conversations. I would be interested in learning more about that journey. Especially when certain words seem to trigger a fairly severe emotional response. Were you and your brother close?"

P'rel grimaced internally; she had walked right into that trap. Now the conversation had become about whether she were fully capable of being at work, and she found herself stifling an element of alarm. "We were siblings...as any others..." she confirmed.

"How many years were you apart?" Savin asked, "my brother and I are seven years apart. He was born on Vulcan and like me believed to be Vulcan. Unlike me, however he continues to identify himself as Vulcan. We have not spoken in quite some time." He fell silent. "Tell me about him? What was he like? Protective? Quite the opposite?"

"That is a loss..." the Vulcan replied, "...for both of you, I am sure". Truth be told, P'rel always remained slightly rueful and resentful of wasted sibling relationships. M'Tan had been one of the few she had been able to confide in as a child, eschewing the nonsense of Surak's teachings she had found few people like herself. Unable to be open about who she was, her brother - though one who embraced logic - had always been a patient ear if not a sympathetic one.

"P'Rel, talk to me," he urged gently, "you say it is a loss that I do not speak to my brother. Is it not an equal loss that you do not speak about yours? Tell me about him? Was he a Starfleet officer like yourself or did he pursue a different career? Did he have a family?" While he would admit to curiosity as the woman across from him kept personal details very close to her chest, most of all he wanted her to just talk.

Trying to retain her deflection and press her colleague to focus back on himself, P'rel leaned back in her chair and crossed one knee over the other, clasping her hands upon her upper knee. "Perhaps it is of equal loss. However, I an absent of the requisite data to make such a determination as I have not accessed your service file. As you do have sufficient data, perhaps you can tell me".

"You surprise me P'Rel, have you really not read my file? Yes I read yours, insofar not redacted and restricted, but it makes no mention of M'Tan. How about a trade then, you tell me about your brother, and I will tell you about mine. Sound fair?"

P'rel remained impassive with her hands clasped around her knee crossed over the other. Absolutely not she thought as she retained her hard stare at the counsellor.

Without sensing her thought, Savin could see by the hard stare she cast him that the answer would be no. "Why are you reluctant to discuss him?" He continued, "he clearly meant a lot to you, or you would not be suffering nightmares about him."

"Indeed" she conceded, not moving a muscle. She'd wrestle a sehlat before she got into a conversation about M'Tan, at least at the moment.

"If you will not discuss him, will you discuss your dreams? Why do you dream of him?" He felt like he was going in circles, but he was clearly very unwilling to give up on her. "There is no need to be all controlled now, we both know that you are not normally like this."

"Cultural sensitivity being a strong suit again, Counsellor" P'rel chided as she rose from her chair. She knew it was meant in good faith, and not at all a negative comment, but she could utilise Counselor Savin's comment to manipulate the situation in her favour and end this tedium. Seemingly the Counsellor had made a comment regarding her V'Tosh ka'tur beliefs and behaviour, and the Vulcan was absolutely going to take the opportunity to get out of this conversation. "Our time is up. Unless I can help you with anything else". She did not end the tone of voice with a question, and it was not an invitation for further discourse.

"Which cultural sensitivity doctor," Savin countered, "we both know you emote. Your over controlled posture now is a clear indication to me that you are not yourself." He considered her last statement, which could be construed as an offer. "Yes ..there actually is," he answered, watching her very closely. "Perhaps you can locate Sodon, my brother. As I have not spoken with him in a long time, I do not know where he is stationed. He is seven years my junior."

Vulcans, even V'Tosh Ka'tur Vulcans, do not physically visibly do a double take; though P'rel came mightily close in that moment. "I..." she started, truly shocked by this new direction... "am sure I can probably be of at least some assistance...". P'rel resumed her seat and opened a new terminal file on the integrated interface within the desk. "He is in Starfleet?" she probed.

Savin nodded. "Yes. I believe he opted not to pursue a career in medical like father and myself. I believe he expressed an interest in engineering, the last time we had a proper conversation." While she hadn't actually changed expression, Savin had caught the change in emotional vibe. However, he chose to ignore it, instead choosing to observe as she worked. "He may be an ensign or lieutenant at this point, I am not certain. He had recently graduated and went on his first assignment when we last spoke." His expression was one of regret as he briefly looked away. "This is about five years ago. I have not heard from him since."

An eyebrow inadvertently rose as it so often did and P'rel wondered the obvious; "I presume you have submitted an information requisition to the Office of Personnel Management, and that the same was unproductive...?".

"It was. He must have put in a request to deny me the information," Savin answered, "I have not tried since, respecting his choice. However, since our conversations, I have found the desire to speak with him. After all, he remains my brother, no matter what, correct?"

The pointedness of Savin's words were not lost on her, and she did half suspect this was just another ploy to provoke her into discussing M'Tan, nonetheless she nodded in agreement. Turning slightly on her chair, she sat forward and clasped her hands on the desk in front of her. "Curious. You are willing to circumvent his wishes..."

"He is still my brother. Is it not my duty as older sibling to look out for him and make certain he is safe?" Savin seemed to fidget, which could be determined as unusual behaviour. "Given our recent conversations, i have found a desire to reach out." He cast the woman across from him a hopeful look. "You will be able to find him right?"

"I shall do my best without committing to a promise" P'rel answered truthfully. "Though I remain perplexed. For all our...exchanges...you strike me as one who respects the agency and choices of others deeper than most". She shifted in her chair slightly, discomforted by the possibility that her genuine assessment of Savin be taken as a compliment; "It is against your nature to choose your own desires above the wishes of another".

"I can try to find him, that does not mean he is required to answer my messages," Savin answered quietly. "If I fail this time, if I fail to get in contact with him, then I will accept that failure but I will always answer his call should he choose to. But I have to try..." He cast her an uncertain but grateful smile. "I understand there is no guarantee, but I have faith in your ability doctor, and I trust that you will try."

"I shall" P'rel replied as she offered a slow singular nod. She would do what Savin had requested; certainly there were a number of less official threads she could tug on. Still, it was unlike Savin. For all their barbs and sparring matches, Savin was a good man who seemed to genuinely care about others; their choices and decisions perhaps the most so. She could have refused were she sufficiently concerned, but she would honour Savin's request despite her consternation at the Counsellor's uncharacteristic behaviour.

'Perhaps he's dying...?' P'rel wondered as Savin left.