I've Never Wanted to Punch a Commodore Before

Posted on Sat Jun 10th, 2023 @ 11:21am by Lieutenant Didrea Zade & Ensign Rimal Iska & Lieutenant Commander Savin

Mission: Character Development
Location: Counselor's Office
Timeline: MD 6 :: After "The Trial: Zade"
2705 words - 5.4 OF Standard Post Measure

After the connection to the trial ended, Zade spent some time in her office just trying to calm down. The commodore asking questions was infuriating to talk to, and she couldn't get that annoying smirk out of her mind. It was bad enough that he kept trying to make her say Kane was guilty, but walking her into it made her blood boil. Babanin was so lucky that she wasn't there in person, because the desire to smack that grin off his face was very strong.

Rather abruptly, Zade stood from her desk, restraining herself from smacking it out of frustration by clenching her fists. She needed to vent her thoughts somehow. "Zade to Commander Savin," she grumbled, after an annoyed slap to her comm badge. "Can I have a few minutes of your time to work through some frustrations?"

There was the usual lag in response, where the call was translated to text on a PADD. "Of course lieutenant." The counselor's voice seemed calm and collected as always. "Where would you like me to meet you?"

"As long as it's not my office, I don't care," Zade responded. "... sir. Can we use your office?" At first, his calm response surprised her, and for a moment she wondered if her tone was too harsh, but then remembered that Savin had no insight to her expressions, let alone her emotions. Her eyes wandered to the computer, and she proceeded to scowl at the device, as if she could blame it for allowing her to listen to the Commodore's absurd storytelling.

"Of course lieutenant. You can walk right in, I have no appointments." While he had no insight into her emotions or tone of her voice, the choice of words was telling too. "I will be here, Savin out."

Once the link disconnected, Zade took in a deep breath so she could at least contain herself until she got to his office. That involved attempting to hide her annoyance from her facial expression. Once she felt ready, she unlocked the door to her office and exited.

Iska knew to not bother the chief while she was in her meeting. He also didn't think anything of it when she came out of her office, and approached with a PaDD, assuming all was well. "Lieutenant-"

"Not now." The response was abrupt, and Zade mentally chastised herself for it when she saw the Bajoran's rather startled expression. She briefly paused in her step to answer the Ensign. "Sorry, I- just... please take whatever it is to Lieutenant Dash. He's still in charge at the moment." With that, she continued on her way out, not wanting to stick around, or even worse, be asked about what was going on.

A response as harsh as that was not what Iska was expecting, and his heart skipped a beat when he thought, for a moment, that she was angry with him. But then she seemed to somewhat collect her thoughts and spoke in a tense, but more gentle tone. "Y-yes, ma'am," he said, though the response was likely unheard as the Trill rather quickly left the security offices. "P-prophets..." he gasped, tension leaving his shoulders as he caught up on breathing again.

A few minutes later, Zade was at Savin's door, and before she entered she took another breath. While she knew she could be open with the counselor, it was a habit to try and keep her emotions internal. There was visible tension in her shoulders, as well as subtle features in her expression, such as her tightened jaw and the faint frown lines running across her forehead, that sufficiently broadcasted her annoyance, despite her efforts to mask it. "Thanks for being able to meet on such short notice, Counselor," she said.

Savin very briefly closed his eyes as her annoyance washed over him like a tidal wave. He gestured for her to take a seat then drew in a deep breath to center himself. "Of course, what can I do for you, besides try to ease your annoyance?" He could see the tension in her body and he couldn't recall having seen her like this before.

Despite her efforts, it was still obvious. Zade accepted the chair he offered. Her response to Savin was different than the first time, as if she were more comfortable going to him. But that perception of comfort could also be perceived as the Trill not thinking about where she was. "I just got off the call for testimonies and the experience was so..." She paused to try and find the word that best described what she was feeling. In her struggle to find words, she brought her hands in front of her, fingers spread, as if she were trying to tightly squeeze some imaginary object. Dissatisfied that she couldn't find the right words, the Trill crossed her arms with a huff of air. "I just want to vent about it, if that's alright with you."

"Infuriating?" The counselor supplied patiently as he watched her. Slowly he nodded, but held up his hand to pause a possible flood of words. "As long as I do not hear specific details," he explained, "I have yet to be called." Even so, it was still his duty to see to the mental well-being of his crewmates, and this one was obviously troubled by what she had experienced. And that had to be given priority. "Go on..."

As Savin had correctly anticipated, Zade was ready to get into it when she was stopped by a raise of his hand. She then realized what an awkward situation she would be putting him into, but he did insist on letting her continue. "I'll do my best to keep it vague," she nodded, trusting that he would interject if necessary. "Yeah, I suppose infuriating describes it well. The prosecutor was... tricky." Tricky was the polite version of how Zade really wanted to refer to the Commodore. "He's obviously trying to find evidence to incriminate the Captain, but he also kept trying to get an emotional response from me. He kept twisting my words to fit his story."

"Is that not his purpose, to put a testimony into something questionable in favour of the prosecution? To draw something into saying something they would otherwise not have?" He gave her a sympathetic smile. "How did this make you feel?"

"It clearly didn't make me happy," Zade replied with a frown. His question felt silly to her, as if it should have been obvious from her mere presence in his office. "My issue isn't with his role, it was his approach. He kept asking highly subjective questions and trying to make me speculate on the reasons why the Captain was guilty. He was insistent on getting my 'professional opinion'," the Trill's hands un-crossed briefly to make air quotes before they returned to their former position, "instead of asking relevant questions. It felt like he was trying to rile me up instead of discover the truth."

"Is it not a fact that riling up an emotional being such as yourself, could reveal something you would otherwise not have revealed? It is his duty to uncover facts, and he had quite some creative freedom to do so. If he went too far, no doubt the Captain's attorney would have objected?"

"The Captain's attorney did object, several times. I've been through a trial before, and this was not the same," Zade hissed. The memory of Babanin taking her words so grossly out of context came to the front of her mind, making her glare at the desk. "It's irrelevant to the jury to ask me what I would do if I were investigating this case. I would be the last person to run such an investigation. He wanted me to speculate on factors that would make me suspect that Kane was guilty."

"I do not need to know the specifics," the counselor reminded her, "but I do would like to know how this made me you feel. Obviously you were being goaded into discrediting the captain, a man you obviously trust. How did this make you feel?"

"Right, sorry," Zade said, trying to remember that she was effectively sworn to secrecy until the trial was over. It was questionable for her to be in Savin's office given the situation, but she certainly couldn't just let Babanin's mind games run rampant in her brain. "It felt like I was sparring against a Commodore who had all the time in the quadrant to prepare. It was exhausting and frustrating to be repeatedly provoked while trying to provide a meaningful testimony."

"He probably did have all the time to prepare," Savin supplies, somewhat unhelpfully as he sensed her frustration. "Did he manage to provoke you?"

"No!" The response was quick and defensive. Zade paused to take a breath, finding that it didn't really help as intended. "Yeah," she sighed, knowing it was the truth. "Not only did he twist my words, but he kept interrupting me as I tried to correct him. It's like he was trying to speak for me," as she said that, her face scrunched with obvious disapproval, "and I was only there as a formality."

"As a formality to what degree? Surely, the defense set a few things straight?'

Zade didn't know how to accurately describe what she meant. "The defense did, or tried to at least, whenever the prosecutor wasn't objecting to every little thing. When I say as a formality, I mean that when he used my words to emphasize his intent to find the Captain guilty, he didn't bother retaining any of the context or the original meaning. It's like I was nothing but some vessel to funnel his words through. Like, after asking me if I would characterize Kane as selfish, I gave a simple no and he took that to make his point that he was a stone-cold killer!"

"Stop." It was a simple word as he held up his hand. "Do not tell me any details. Just tell me how it made you feel."

Frustrated that she was now on strike two of slipping up, Zade stood from the chair and began a slow pace, her hands on her hips. She was too antsy, and after sitting through Babanin's nonsense, she needed to stand. "It made me feel like I was being used," she grumbled. Realizing that she wasn't facing Savin when she spoke, she turned toward him and repeated the response, then added, "it was annoying, and frustrating, and... I felt like I couldn't do anything about it."

"You probably could not," the counselor agreed, "and it is a prosecutor's duty to get to the truth as much as it is that of the defense. Some just get too overzealous. And some get too personal."

"Overzealous..." Zade huffed, shaking her head as she remembered when Babanin tried to suggest that she and Kane were in some kind of relationship. "Call me biased, but it certainly didn't sound like the Commodore was trying to get to any truth. There had to have been something else I could have done." She knew there wasn't, but it didn't stop her from trying to think of something, anything.

"Perhaps he was overzealous in his attempt to conceal a truth," Savin offered, "though I cannot know for certain, obviously. What do you think you should or could have done differently?"

"I don't know!" Zade closed her eyes to take a deep breath and try to calm the emotions that were surely ramming into Savin's senses. The last 24 hours had been ungodly stressful, and this did nothing but compound on top of that stress. "There must be something I could have done to prevent this from even happening in the first place. Maybe if I was at the commencement as the Captain's security detail, or if I had run extra security scans or something." Deep down, she knew that even if she had done those things, it probably wouldn't have changed the outcome. She knew that, and she hated the sense of helplessness it gave her. "Maybe I could have phrased my responses in this stupid trial differently, I just... don't know."

"Those are quite a number of 'maybes'," the counselor observed, "on the other hand, if you had been present, how likely would it have been that you were arrested as a possible accomplice?"

Ugh, he had a point. In addition to being helpless to the situation, it probably would have been worse if she were present. "It's possible. But Commander Zora wasn't arrested, and she was there." Zade stopped in front of his desk, hands still on her hips. While facing him, she wasn't necessarily looking at Savin; her eyes were slightly unfocused at his shoulder level as she paid more attention to her own thoughts. "How am I supposed to answer questions about whether the Captain's actions suggested he was planning a murder? The only way I could know that is if I obsessively tracked his movements or something."

"Is that not part of your duties, to keep track of the captain's whereabouts?" Savin pushed, "Commander Zora has no security background insofar I am aware."

"There's a difference between the normal monitoring I do and borderline stalking," Zade pushed back. The conversation was starting to sound like how it went with Zora yesterday. "The only way I could know if the Captain was planning something like this is if I was there, with him. That... infuriating Commodore knew that when he objected to-"

"Stop." Savin held up his hand to keep the Trill woman from finishing what she's been about to say. "Do not supply me with inner details of your testimony," he reminded her, easily sensing her growing frustration. "How would you have known, had you been there? How would you have seen this? How would you have foreseen this?"

Something about her slipping up for a third time and him interrupting her tipped her over the edge. "Dammit, Savin, I don't know! All I know is that I'm supposed to be prepared for something like this!" Without warning, Zade balled her hand into a fist and slammed it down hard on the desk between them. To the Trill, the sudden impact pierced the tense air in the room, enough to make all the objects in Savin's office stop their mundane tasks to observe. It took a moment to realize what she did, and when it dawned on her, Zade lifted her hand off the desk as if she were not supposed to be touching it.

"I-I'm sorry," Zade stammered in a quieter tone, trying to reel in her frustration. She gently rest her hand over the one now throbbing from the impact, as if the light pressure by her own hand would help. It wasn't like her to lose control like that, especially in front of another officer. She must be more stressed than she thought. "That was not professional. I shouldn't have done that."

Savin was on his feet as soon as she slammed his desk and walked around it to get closer to her. Gently, he took her hand and carefully probed it for injury. "I do feel for my desk," he chuckled, "but perhaps a holodeck is a better place to vent your frustrations?"

Not seeing a better option, Zade gave him a nod, reclaiming her hand after allowing him a couple seconds to make sure it was alright. While her annoyance was aimed toward Babanin, the target of her frustration began to turn on its head. She was frustrated that she couldn't do anything about the situation, frustrated that her frustration allowed her to slip up so many times... as one who didn't like being so vulnerable, the Trill realized that maybe a change of scenery would be helpful.

"Come with me," Savin said after a few seconds, allowing her to recompose herself somewhat. He glanced back at his now slightly dented desk, quietly marveling at the strength with which she'd struck it. Beckoning her, he walked towards the door, not giving her any kind of impression that she even had a choice in the matter.