A Friendly Reminder

Posted on Tue Feb 14th, 2023 @ 2:24am by Lieutenant Commander Savin & Lieutenant JG Kirral Nagata

Mission: Character Development
Location: Ship's Counselor's Office
3965 words - 7.9 OF Standard Post Measure

Kirral had only read about Athena's... unique Counselor in her perusal of the crew manifest when she accepted the orders. Some part of her had always hoped for another Romulan in the fleet, even one half-blood like herself, while simultaneously dreading the idea. Her father had been her last connection to that side of her heritage, and it had been precarious at best to go poking around with such things while at the Academy and trying to prove herself as a new Ensign onboard the Zenith.

She straightened her uniform top, stopped outside the door, and carefully raised a finger to ring the Counselor inside with that pleasant chime all Starfleet seemed so fond of. Waiting wasn't an issue for her, her mind had a million questions it was trying to parse, and both sides of her mind had different answers or assumptions to make. Would he reject us? Would asking questions about being Romulan be met with resistance? Hostility? She hadn't even seen another since last she saw her father, and that had been over a decade now. How silly of her to even worry, to be anxious over. But that was just how it was going to be until Savin assuaged her fears and gave her some answers. She just hoped she didn't come off as impatient or rude, such was the intensity of her anxiety.

"Come." Though the chime was unnoticed, the indicator on his desk decided to function and let him know there was someone at the door. As soon as the door opened, he was met with a sense anxiety he couldn't quite place. It seemed to belong to the young woman who entered his office and instantly he felt intrigued. "How may I help you miss...." It gave an indication he preferred not to use rank in his office.

The verbal permission was followed shortly after by the door sliding open and Kirral entering the office. Her hands, primarily by habit, remained folded at her back as if she were introducing herself to one of the Command Staff or other, higher ranking officers. Her anxiety only peaked when her dark green eyes took in the sight of Savin, as if all that swirling around in her head had now physically manifested. He wasn't some mythical figure though, not dressed like a Romulan (why would he be?), his tone was not impatient or overly formal. "I... apologies, Lt. Commander." Why was she apologizing? And then he had asked her name as if she should fill in the blanks, easy and casual. She had to remind herself that he was the ship's counselor more than once. But eventually she found her words, flustered mind and behavior giving way to her trained professionalism and self-discipline. "Kirral Nagata, sir. I am the Athena's new Astrometrics Officer. And I am half-Romulan. I simply read on the manifest... you will forgive me if I am prying, but I have not met another Romulan in quite some time."

Standing, the counselor gestured towards the seating area in his office, which looked far more informal than his desk. It was a fairly spaceous room, painted in soft tones with two comfortable chairs and a small coffee table to one side and a formal desk to the other. The desk however, was facing the door. "I would prefer counselor or doctor if you insist on a title," he smiled gently, "however in my office I prefer no rank or title at all. As for being Romulan, it is your work that matters here in this vessel, not your background." Yet he had to admit to curiosity. "Why not tell me a little about yourself?" He suggested, taking the opportunity to get them some tea in the time it took her to sit.

The gesture was met with another bout of uncertainty and apprehension at first. But she had to learn to trust Savin sooner or later, right? Her previous ship had been too small for a dedicated counselor, and she'd never bothered to visit any while at the Academy. It had been more than a decade since she'd seen one, and that had been a trying time for her. Maybe that was why she was as jumpy as she was. "Very well, Counselor, I... will endeavor to make it so." She offered another, apologetic smile before taking a seat, finally. She sat as straight as she stood, hands folded on her lap, closer to the edge than truly sat back or relaxed.

Her head shook with his suggestion then, bobbed hair only mostly covering the pointed ears below that stark black mess. "I thank you for the sentiment, Counselor, but I am... not overly concerned about my heritage impacting my status in Starfleet." The smell of tea was probably the first time she'd even deigned to relax since hitting the chime on his door, and his last suggestion reflected that in her response. Calmer, more open. "What would you like to know? I... have not done this in some time. Visited a counselor that is. Not since I was a teenager."

"Relax," Savin smiled, "anything you tell me remains here, in this office. Perhaps start with where you grew up? Why did you choose science? And any difficulties you may or may not expect or have encountered?"

The combination of a relaxing cup of tea and her ability to really sort her thoughts now that she was seated and his invitation was open truly helped Kirral ease into the situation. Though it wasn't lost on her that she'd come to satisfy some personal curiosity and was now fully in the counselor's chair, so to speak. "I was born and raised on Starfleet ships. Most of that on the USS Bunker Hill, a Galaxy-class." Did he want more? Was omission of further details somehow telling? Now her mind was off on a tangent again, one she had to push through to continue.

"I love the stars. I was always gifted with mathematics, physical sciences, but what really kept my fascination as a child was... the galaxy and everything in it. Just one of countless billions, and yet I could spend an entire Vulcan lifetime trying to chart it and still never discover even half of what it has to offer. What's not to love?" Quite by accident, she found this tangent pleasant and warm, and thus falling down that rabbit hole was as easy as diving into a pile of warm blankets on a cold day. Her smile and form melted somewhat, gradually sinking into comfort that she rarely allowed herself unless in private.

"I do not know," Savin answered, easily sensing the joy she found on this. "I grew upon Vulcan, somewhat sheltered I suppose. But I did find from a young age that I wanted to be a healer, and my telepathic ability would be helpful with that. What would be your ultimate wish, career wise?"

"Command," she said, almost as if precognitive in the response. Or maybe it was just so well-thought out for her, that there was no delay in answering. "Something like an Intrepid-class with a lengthy mission into deep, uncharted space. Somewhere with a little less conflict and strife, fate willing." And then, her brow furrowed. Happy, lofty thoughts gave way to a ping of curiosity as she settled forward. "If you are Romulan, how did you come into your telepathic abilities, if I may ask? They... our people do not possess such things. I have studied some Vulcan techniques of meditation, but they seem as distinct from myself as those from Earth I also practice. Certainly not a key to unlocking any such potential, at any rate."

"Assuming an Intrepid will still be in service by the time you reach a command rank?" He queried curiously, only briefly paused her question. "Romulans can have telepathic abilities, we do have a common Vulcan root. However, as I understand it, it is rare in Romulans. Equally I must assume there are Vulcans who are born without telepathic ability. I actually do not know if my parents or brother are telepathic now that I think about it. I never had reason to assume otherwise. Perhaps, I have this ability because I have a different disability?" It was something he truthfully never had considered.

At first, Kirral felt almost insulted. What was he insinuating about her wish? What was wrong with the Intrepid? Some other science vessel would do just as well... maybe that she was getting ahead of herself and maybe command was just that far away or... out of her reach? She shook her head, pushing herself into the conversation as it continued, but it was clear she had missed some of it. "I thought all Vulcans were taught? Or at least tested. I only knew those like me, born and raised on starships, those that didn't end up back on Vulcan for instruction anyhow. And I certainly can't say my human side has contributed to my lack of ability, that did little to impede Ambassador Spock, after all." She relaxed back again, or at least sat up enough to drink her tea properly. "An interesting hypothesis, Counselor."

"But you are not Vulcan, you are Romulan. We did have a telepath in the house as I grew up, a Betazoid child born with abilities. He was sent to us to assist me with communication, while we helped him learn to control his abilities. Perhaps his presence shrouded the inability of the others?" It was a genuine question to which he actually lacked a logical answer. "Perhaps you do have latent ability, after all Romulans do descent from Vulcans? But that is for you to discover, should you desire to."

"So I am, Counselor." She conceded, sipping her tea and watching him now as he expanded on the topic. Was this what it was like to be in his position? Listening, analyzing, searching for appropriate responses? "A Betazoid growing up in a Vulcan household where at least one of the children was secretly a Romulan. You are sure this was not a Federation Starship, Counselor?" There was humor there, a light teasing tone, but even that somehow remained polite and proper, as if she were afraid of pushing boundaries.

"I do not believe I have such abilities, nor am I interested in discovering if I do. Merely another aspect of my... dual nature to contend with, if it were so. I find mediations take enough of my time outside of my lab without the additional burden."

Tone and joke complete lost on him, Savin nodded. "Very sure," he answered quietly, "and we were all secretly Romulan... It is a miracle the Betazoid somehow never found out. It took a brief time as exchange officer on a Romulan vessel to discover this, as I was subjected to a boarding medical examination." He shrugged. "I am who I am, disability and all. It is as it is as I can hardly change my genetics. I make no secret of it." He gave her another encouraging smile. "Nor should I have to."

"If you would not mind sometime, Counselor, I should like to hear that story in full. If you know the details and are willing to share that is. If I may ask now... How did you handle the news? That your people were not your own, that you shared blood, history, and heritage with others you were not raised with or near? Your own family aside..." She offered a polite smile, nodding in agreement with his words. Getting him to open up and talk as well seemed to be helping her, make the topic she'd come to discuss all the easier to broach naturally.

Sensing that this was going to lead somewhere, Savin gave a small nod. "I do not mind answering questions, if it becomes to personal I will let you know," he said, "I fear that I did not handle it very well, and I lost myself for a little while. I needed to find a new balance for myself after deciding to embrace my birth heritage. I am still in the process of that, as I continue to learn more about the Romulan people. I do not speak the language, for example, nor do I understand it, but eventually I do wish to. I do not wish, however, to burden my family with this, but I do feel I was denied an important part of my heritage while growing up. It would not have changed my career path, but it might have changed the means in which I express myself."

Kirral found herself leaning in again, the topic drawing her attention and interest more than she might openly admit. "My Romulan language is not the best either, though passable if universal translators are not available. I learned language, culture, and history in bits and pieces growing up. Most often from reading, but more substantially from my father when he would visit us. Or... me, rather. I am not sure my mother cared for maintaining contact." There was a downturn to her mood as the topic leaned personal, but she did not shy from continuing either. "If it helps, Counselor, I too studied Vulcan culture and meditation practices as just another avenue to connect with part of who I was. After all, were they not one people only a few millenia ago? Not too many generations for Vulcans, not compared to humans at any rate."

"I usually have Jerant to assist me," Savin confessed, "when there are conversations going on, when I am on bridge duty, he makes certain I do not miss anything. If Romulan is required, he assists with that." The counselor chuckled, despite not having let on yet why he would need assistance. "I can sign in Vulcan and federation standard, and we converse by telepathy if needed, but usually he just stays within my line of sight." Another pause as he sensed a shift in her mood. "Your parents are separated?" he enquired carefully.

She nodded with his explanations. And it wasn't as if she had no follow up questions to ask, but his own question caught her off-guard. There was immediate tension there as she considered what to respond with, how to respond. It wasn't as if most of it wasn't in her records, especially any file the counselor had access too as part of her Starfleet medical record. She sat up straight again, let her hands tighten briefly around her tea cup, before she decided to answer. "They were only informally an... item. The Dominion War was on the horizon and both were doing their duties. My mother was a logistics officer on the USS Juno doing supply and diplomatic missions to colonies in the Badlands and Cardassian space. Father was... She said he was always odd for a Romulan. It was as if he was only in the Tal Shiar to get closer to other factions and show them what a good, sensible Romulan looked like. Either that or he was just a very good double agent. But, either way, I was an accident that my mother insisted on keeping once she found out. But the two of them were never truly involved, that I know of. Maybe... not committed to one another is better wording."

"I see..." He could even see the tension in her now. "I did not intend to cause discomfort," he then apologized, "I am aware 'we' may not always be what we appear...but some of us do have good intentions." He smiled at her. "At least you have relations with your father, correct?"

She shook her head silently, remaining as she had been now. It seemed, at least for the time being, she had settled on a mood, a posture, somewhere in the middle of the ups and downs she'd gone through so far. "I had expectations of such a topic being broached, Counselor, do not worry. I was just briefly caught off-guard." She dared smile back then, despite her words that followed. "I did, yes. He would visit and take me out to restaurants or to cultural centers or the like, depending on where we were on shore leave or docked at the time. Even snuck me my first Romulan ale when I was 16, just a half glass. And that was the last time we spoke before..."

She trailed off again, but steeling herself was easier this time around, and she remembered to whom she was speaking. "He passed trying to transport refugees before Hobus in '87."

Briefly bowing his head to acknowledge her grief, he then looked up. "I am sorry to hear that," he finally spoke, "but you have fond memories do you not? And his actions made him an honourable man, no matter what his occupation was."

Her head found itself bowing in return, acknowledging and thanking the man across from her for the gesture. In those little moments, she couldn't help the upwelling of emotion, the tear at her eye as she offered him a smile. Normally, self-discipline and meditation won out, gave her some sense of normalcy and control over her usually powerful emotions. But this was not a normal moment, and not a memory she had dredged up in the better part of a decade at any length outside Academy entrance exam requirements to review her mental health. "I do. Very many, and I cherish them all. My mother married another Starfleet officer when I was 3 or 4, and he's a good man too. I have a sister and brother, both finding their way into Starfleet as well. Runs in the family, but... I will always have that unique piece, have him as an example, if that makes sense."

"It does. You yourself are unique, and your father was someone special and equally unique. And you obviously look up to him." He paused. "If at any time you want to tell me more about him, if and when you are ready, I will be here," he promised her. "In the mean time, we can talk about anything else you wish to." He could see this path of conversation was drawing on emotions she might not be ready to display on a first meeting so he offered her another path for now. "Wash there anything else you wished to know?"

She watched him as he spoke, her hand raising to wipe away the single bead of moisture that had escaped her eye and gone down her cheek. She looked annoyed, felt it briefly too. Even in front of the ship's counselor, she wasn't keen on being overly expressive if she couldn't help it. "Perhaps another time, you are right. I have not really... not since he passed and I saw our counselor aboard the Bunker Hill. Heh, at least this time I am not being watched by a brig officer." She shook her head then, forcing her posture high and her expression into something with a smile, hands clasping on her knees. "Tell me more about the Athena, Counselor. I know you are not one of the Command Staff or one of my peers as a lower officer, but I would appreciate your unique perspective, as both the counselor and a Romulan. I was the only one aboard the Zenith myself, a small handful of Vulcans to share some commonalities with. They were all wonderful though. I don't think I could have asked for a better maiden tour as an Ensign."

"I fear I do not mingle much and gossip is list on me," Savin answered as he seemed to consider something. Though never hiding his disability, he didn't generally outright mention it either for fear of being treated differently. "I am deaf," he finally confessed, "I rely on seeing a person speak and sensing their feelings. When I have bridge duty, I rely on my aide to remain aware of conversation out of my line of sight." He offered an apologetic smile. "Surely, you did notice my undivided attention?"

Her head tilted then while he spoke, only momentary surprise in her features while he explained. She felt silly for not realizing it earlier, but then again, how could she have known? "You do very well on your own, nonetheless. And... well, yes, but I am used to such things from a counselor. Not that I am an official patient, but I always noticed those in your profession don't exactly have an 'off-duty' mode, do you?" She injected some brevity into the conversation, a smile accompanying. "How long have you been aboard the Athena, Counselor? I acknowledge your disability, but I also choose to believe you are an astute observer and reader of others. I am not overly social myself, but I am sure I miss all sorts of little cues and contexts due to my... absent-minded, at times, nature. The ability to hear does not seem to impact that." A bit of self-deprecation there, but she was glad she did not have to recount how many times she had forgotten to eat, or fallen asleep on the job after pulling extra duty, or seemingly blown off social obligations because she simply forgot due to some mathematical problem or another rattling around in her head.

"About three years now," the counselor said after a brief moment of thought... then he smiled again. "I suppose you are correct, off-duty is a very fine line for me. But as it is my duty to help, I should be available at all times, should I not?"

She nodded along, settling a smile on her lips with her posture settled somewhere that meant she'd found her comfort zone for this particular conversation, somewhere more relaxed than professional, but only just. "That's fair, Counselor. And through your three years of availability, surely you've formed some opinion on the ship and her crew? Nothing in-depth needed, or anything at all if you don't wish... Just curious as a newcomer. And it is one of my duties as an officer to ingratiate myself and gauge my crew to understand how I can best perform to help the ship as a whole, wouldn't you agree?"

"This appears to be a loyal crew, and you need to find you own place among them. I would recommend you mingle, and make friends. I cannot decide how and where, that is for you to discover."

"An answer that's full of interpretations and empowering me to find my own answers... I can respect that from someone in your position, Counselor." She nodded then and briefly ran her hands over her legs before daring to stand. "Perhaps my next visit will be less impromptu, give us more time to speak? I really should be getting back to my duties. It was a pleasure to meet you, Counselor. And thank you for entertaining my silly curiosities."

"There is nothing silly about being curious. It is our nature to be such." Savin stood as well. "Appointments are not a requirement, my door is open to anyone who needs me." He cast her another encouraging smile. "I look forward to speaking again," he added.

With a bow of her head as her chosen manner of saying goodbye, Kirral's hands clasped neatly at her back and she made her exit from the Counselor's office. For so short a visit, she had learned a great deal, and looked forward to both discussing things with him more and just getting to know him better. He was certainly not like any Romulan she'd ever met before, but then again, her father wasn't considered typical either. She'd take what she could get though, as all of it was fun and interesting learning experiences.