You Decide Your Fate

Posted on Mon Feb 13th, 2023 @ 5:30pm by Lieutenant Commander Finnley Keating VII

Mission: Character Development
Location: Earth
Timeline: Shore leave, day after 'Breaking Barriers'
925 words - 1.9 OF Standard Post Measure

“Coffee?” Quinn offered as Finn stepped out from her tent, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Yes. Please,” she stumbled to the rock to sit. “My legs feel like they aren’t even attached to my body anymore.”

He laughed. “Sorry about that. I was out of ideas and I wanted the real Finn back.” Quinn nudged her, making her sore muscles scream.

“Maybe no nudges, or hugs, for at least twenty-four hours?” She chuckled, pulling away. The morning felt crisp and light, and for the first time in a while, her smile held nothing back. “I had forgotten how beautiful it could be.” Finn looked at the sky, painted pink and orange as the sun rose. Its rays started to seep through the branches and envelop them in a warm glow.

“Even more so when you’re watching it with good company,” Quinn smiled.

The two sat in silence, admiring the sky for a while until their cups had been emptied. “Should we pack up and head home?” Quinn asked his daughter.

“I think so,” she nodded. “Though you may have to help me with the disassembly, my arms feel about as numb as my legs do.”

Quinn chuckled and helped her to take down the small tent and pack up the small number of supplies he had brought in his pack. When they were done, they each shouldered a bag and started hiking in the direction of home. No words were exchanged as each was lost in their own mind. Finn’s weighed heavily on her decision to leave Starfleet permanently or stay. Or maybe transfer. Her dad hadn’t been wrong about her tendency to run from problems, but was it really a bad thing to run when you had put so many at risk? She wondered.

“I’ll be disappointed if you leave,” Quinn finally broke the still air between them.

Finn cocked an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“I’ll be disappointed if you leave Starfleet,” he clarified. “It’s not what you expected to hear, is it?”

“No. I thought you’d just support whatever decision I made,” Finn gave an honest reply.

“I won’t be disappointed if you leave for the right reasons,” he sighed. “You know, I’d have never been disappointed if you didn’t choose Starfleet when you started your career. We tried showing you other career paths.”

“Yea, mostly at mom’s request,” she chuckled.

“True,” Quinn smiled back. “But you know I’d have been proud of you no matter what you chose. You just always had such a passion for engineering and being a part of Starfleet. And I don’t think it's just because of the family history either. Was it?”

She considered a moment before replying. “No,” although the family history contributed tremendously to the pressure she felt to succeed it was never the true reason she had joined up. “I do love our family history and I wanted to be a part of it, but no. It wasn’t the only reason. I love engineering. It’s my whole life. I always felt like it was where I belonged. It…feels like home.”

“You remember when you used to beg me to let you come to work with me when you were little?”

“Yea, and ‘run a test on that flux regulator’ was your code for ‘get out of sight’ whenever the brass showed up?” The two laughed over the rekindled memory.

“God it was so hard to get you to stay out of engineering, even back then. I’ll never forget how your eyes lit up every time you looked at a warp core. It’s the same look you get when you look out to sea. Like it's calling you,” Quinn smiled as he thought about it. “Don’t let them take that from you Finn. You deserve happiness.”

“I don’t feel happy,” Finn stated. In truth, she wasn’t sure what else to say. Deep down, she knew that engineering was where she belonged, but it wasn’t about her, was it? It was her duty to protect others and she had failed that. Even worse she felt if she returned, she might fail at it again. “I don’t know that I can do my job well enough to keep everyone safe anymore,” she confessed.

“I know,” Quinn sighed. “It’s hard. And if you feel that leaving Starfleet is truly the right choice then I will support your decision. More than that, I won’t even be disappointed. You should know that I always want the best for you. But, Finn, don’t leave because you can’t keep everyone safe. You know that's impossible to begin with and every crew member you serve with understands those risks. If deep down you know that engineering is where you belong then stick it out.”

“I know, because Keating’s don’t quit,” she practically rolled her eyes.

Quinn stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look her in the eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder. “No. You don’t let those assholes win after what they did to you,” the marine was coming out and his eyes had a fire in them as he thought about what they had done to his daughter. “They may have taken your fingers, killed your friend, who knows what else, but they can’t take away who you are unless you let them. You decide your fate, don’t let them decide it for you.”