Just Do It

Posted on Sat Nov 23rd, 2024 @ 4:49pm by Lieutenant Ame Solis M.D.

Mission: Pandora's Box
Location: USS Athena: Ame's Quarters
Timeline: MD1
911 words - 1.8 OF Standard Post Measure

A sonic shower was Ame's moment of quiet, a chance to unpack her thoughts and prepare an appropriate response to her soon-to-be ex-husband. Though not as soothing as a water shower, it gave her the space she needed to process. The sonic vibrations eased the ache in her calves from the brutal incline that she’d battled with. A final tug of her uniform tunic and a check of her lab coat in the mirror, she ensured everything was in order.

She ruffled her hair in frustration, letting out a groan. "Get a grip," she muttered to herself. It wasn’t like Savin had pried during their initial conversation; he’d respected her space, and she’d avoided talking about it to keep her own doubts at bay. The snippets of good memories kept her on the fence, the moments when she’d put on a straight face and left her emotions at the door. She settled at her desk and brought up the recording she had been sent, watching it over and noting the points she needed to respond to with her PADD to make sure she kept herself on track.

A slow exhale rattled through her lips and she rubbed her face with her palms with another frustrated groan. "Come on woman." She mumbled before she opened a new message ignoring the location listed under his rank and name, she didn’t care anyway.

"Thanks for letting me know about the paperwork." The words came out stiffly, without an introduction. Ame skipped the pleasantries; she was in uniform, after all. He didn’t deserve them anyway. "I’ll agree to your new evaluation. I’ve no interest in drawing things out longer than needed, and I don’t want things to get messy. Just make sure the evaluation is accurate. We can split the fees."

Her eyes flicked downwards, a moment’s hesitation. She hadn’t set foot on the Ranch in years, and now she would have no claim to it. His parents would probably still let her stay if she asked, but it wouldn’t be the same. "I don’t want to keep anything that was yours before our relationship. It’s not my share, regardless of what you think." She paused, realizing how cold she sounded. Her gaze shifted to the PADD, where she’d jotted down her talking points.

"If you can keep the research papers with your parents or store them securely, I’ll pick them up when I next have leave." A subtle way of avoiding direct contact, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the end of it. "If that doesn’t work, archive them. I’m not in a rush to have them back, but it would mean a lot if you could keep them safe until then."

Ame attempted to soften the bluntness of her response, but it felt awkward. They never communicated in this way before the last few years, it wasn’t messages, always live transmissions but she felt the need to filter and curate what she had to say. "Make sure to send over the revised evaluation and I’ll sign it off. Thanks." With that, she ended the recording. The heels of her palms pressed into her eyes, fingertips stroking her forehead.

The words replayed in her head, and out loud as she reviewed the audio only. She could never stand to watch herself, hearing it was barely manageable. A quiet frustrated growl forced past her lips as she ended the playback before it had finished. Several more angry taps restarted the recording.

"I don’t have the mental capacity to keep doing this anymore," her voice cracked, the rawness surprising even her. "Every day I doubt myself because of what you did, and how I reacted. Maybe I should have tried harder to talk it through, but I have nothing left to say. You hurt me, and you broke my trust—in our home."

Her eyes squeezed shut as she spoke, the ridges on her nose deepening with disgust. "Everything reminds me of you. Food, places, even the stars. I can’t escape it, and I don’t want to keep doing this. Just do whatever you need to do. Urgh - This was a mistake…" She haphazardly ended the recording, her finger jabbing at the console. As she noticed it had combined the two messages, she froze, eyes widening. A sharp, angry exhale as she deleted the recording and sent it.

She rubbed her palms over her eyes, fingertips pressing into her forehead. The words replayed in her mind like a bitter echo, making her wince. "No time to wallow," she muttered to herself again. She forced herself to stand, checking her reflection one last time. The lab coat was as pristine as ever, but she felt anything but composed.

There were drills to plan, and patients to assess. It was easier to focus on Sickbay, on something she could control. Routine physicals, triage scenarios, and maybe some simulations for allergic reactions across diverse species. Anything to keep her mind busy. She took one last look at the console before turning away. "It’s fine. I’m fine." The door slid shut behind her with a soft hiss as she made her way.