Behind Closed Doors

Posted on Thu Sep 26th, 2024 @ 4:59pm by Lieutenant Ame Solis M.D. & Lieutenant Commander Savin

Mission: Character Development
Location: USS Athena: Solis' Quarters
Timeline: Pre: Into the Qniverse
4559 words - 9.1 OF Standard Post Measure

Senior Officer’s quarters were much more roomy than Ame was used to. Space was abundant, however, she didn’t have enough belongings to stop it from looking empty. The smell of incense lingered in the air, with wisps curling up from the burning stems. She recalled that Savin had told her how his room ran hot due to his upbringing, being raised on a Starbase she was used to the basic ambience, there was no touching the thermostat.

Even dressed down the Bajoran felt tight and a feeling of dread. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to talk to the counsellor, it was more that the conversation would be analysed even if it was for her own good. Would a glass of wine have been a better choice? Perhaps, but black coffee would see her through and allow some free time to research.

She sat cross-legged on one of the armchairs, knees lifted up against the arms. The cup nested in the nook of her legs and her hands held it gently listening to the cackle of the incense.

Savin hadn't been surprised over the invitation, but being called to private quarters was a surprise. Usually, when suggestion a place that was comfortable, it was anywhere but private quarters. Of course, he was curious to see how she settled in because someone's private space was telling about someone's personality. As his quarters were close to hers, it didn't take long to arrive and he pressed the chime.

Ame exhaled slowly, “Enter.” She answered the chime before nursing her coffee. There was no resistance to her knee-jerk reaction to check the door to make sure it was who she was expecting. A faint smile marked her lips when she leaned forward to see Savin.

The room was very much standard, incense, a traditional tea set took a prime position on the coffee table, many PADDs littered both the desk and table and a scaled replica of a cybernetic limb was mounted on a plinth. There was a box, pushed back and out of the way, pictures and framed items that she didn’t have the heart to put out on display. A family picture of her father and mother during her shore leave, and wedding pictures, surgery celebrations and sunsets over the ranch with two silhouettes. “I know it's a little … unorthodox, here seemed as better place as any.”

Savin took a quick glance around the bare-bones living space before smiling at the woman. "I did say I would go where you wished for me to go," he reminded her, "and your privacy will be respected. Your quarters seem to be as sparse as mine, even though you have just arrived." He gestures to one of the pictures with people in it. "May I?"

“Sure why not.” Ame sipped from her cup, “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with them yet. I was going to store some and get some new frames perhaps.” She shrugged a little, some of them were to be banished deep to storage when she had the opportunity. Two years of separation was enough to know that she wasn’t going back and there wasn’t enough charm in the universe to undo the hurt.

Family pictures, showed two Bajorans in their late thirties with a child younger than ten, some in the ‘wilderness’ and others on textile backgrounds. As the child breached the double digits the woman was no longer in the pictures. There was less wilderness and more academics, outdoor ventures with grandparents over water and hunts. The rest she didn’t care to think about, achievements and notes on her files; cybernetic research talks and open panels.

“Would you like a drink? Tea, coffee or anything in between?” The Bajoran offered uncrossing her legs and resting her bare feet on the carpet.

Savin briefly studied the pictures before returning his attention to her. "Tea please," he requested, "you have an interesting array of pictures doctor, are they your family?" He had no family pictures in his own quarters, something he might have to remedy at some point. At the same time he also recalled a promise to call his brother.

Ame eased herself up toward the replicator, “Tea, hot.” She commanded simply waiting for it to materialise. “Most of them are my family, yes. There are a few colleagues and accomplishments, “Dr Mira Calloway is a close friend of mine and the Chief at Starbase 621. It’s tricky when everything is so close together and there’s a risk of danger.”

The Bajoran picked up the standard issue cup around the rim and moved toward Savin, offering him the beverage. She looked down into the box and screwed up her nose slightly, “They’re old, I should maybe take that on as a new skill pick up a hobby. Add some new memories.” Her shoulders lifted into a shrug before nestling herself back into her seat of choice.

There is nothing wrong with putting up images of those that are dear to you," Savin counseled as he accepted the cup and cradled it in his hands. "And what kind of hobby are you referring to? What do you usually do, when you are off duty? Beyond reading up on medical journals." It was an attempt at a joke though he knew many medical professionals tended to do so, he was no different in that aspect.

The Bajoran nodded, “I know, I just don’t know what to do with the space I’ve got. It needs some structure, not just pictures everywhere. A lot of my important stuff is in storage on the Starbase there wasn’t enough room on the Corvus, maybe I’ll sort it out if we head past that way.” Her nose involuntarily crumpled, she’d left the Starbase in a hurry for Bajor and then been reassigned whilst the repair work was ongoing.

“Maybe holo-photography would be a good skill? There’s a theory and a balance much like medical work but art is perceptive and not as cut and dry. I do like a medical journal, I like to see the perspective and reasoning. What worked and what didn’t, where can improvements be made.” She tilted her head in thought, “I like food, messy food with lots of flavours, I like the outdoors. The real outdoors, animals and elements. The holodeck is okay in a pinch but it's not the same.”

Ame watched him inspect her quarts with a curious smile, “What about you? Swords and psychological analysis, with correctively and counter strategies?” That was the broadest and most inadequate description of what he did. She knew there was so much more to reading people and their train of thought, how it could impact them personally and in their duty.

"Swordplay is a workout," Savin answered, "a means to acquire focus and balance. For... fun... I like to play a Terran game called baseball, something I learned while attending Starfleet medical. Unfortunately, I have yet to find someone aboard who also likes to play, beyond Chief Malone." He gave a nod of approval towards her own suggestions. "Art is subjective," he agreed, "as for medical journals, are they not somewhat of a professional requirement? I read them too, not just the psychological aspect. I am qualified to assist sickbay when needed."

She couldn’t help but snicker at the mention of baseball, it was underlined with a pang of sadness as she realised the last time she had played. “I’ve played a few times, it was a bit of tradition during shore leave.”

“That’s good to know, I did check the full rotation yesterday after I met the resident surgeon. There’s a lot going on and it’s not what I was expecting, I didn’t really know what to expect.” Ame answered before sipping at her coffee again.

"Perhaps a tradition worth reviving?" Savin suggested with a smile. "And what were your expectations, despite not knowing what to expect? This is a state of the art medical facility, and you get to wield the sceptre. What will you expect of the staff?"

“Maybe, do you think we have enough to get a team together? Or two” Ame tilted her head curious to know who he’d out as willing.

“State of the art for sure, perhaps the diversity and willingness to collaborate.” She leaned forward sharing her findings with Savin openly. “I met Chief Keating, medical gets a bad wrap. Medical emergencies or being berated for minor things but it was a good conversation. Hopefully a mutual interest.”

The Bajoran couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment about wielding a sceptre. “That’s daunting, I’ve not led an entire department before. Sure, I’ve assisted but it’s not the same is it? I’m responsible for the deck and the crew and the safety of it all.” Her gaze moves to the floor. Was it really so bad? At least it wasn’t a Starbase.

"Certainly, if we enquire among the crew we should be able to or we use the holodeck for additional players." Saving shook his head, then sipped his tea. "No, assisting is not the same as leading, but even the assistant needs to lead sometimes to experience the pressure. I have no doubt that you will be fine."

“I’m sure I will be.” Ame answered between sips, “Since meeting yourself and NVeid, I was considering picking up signing as it seems there’s a potential need should anything happen to implants or other things … Do you have any recommendations on where to start?”

Aside from basic tactical commands from her time at the academy, it was a skill she didn’t need until now. It would take her time but with things up to date and the laboratory schedule, it felt like a productive way to fill the space throughout the day.

"You could start with me, or perhaps NVeid as you will be working closer with him. Both of us are used to signing so you can see us do it as we speak. You can also ask the computer for instructions. Aside from us, I know Lieutenant Zade and Chief Malone also know sign. The first by necessity like myself and NVeid, the latter because of his trade." As he spoke, he had started signing as well to show what he meant, this time consciously doing so while often he wasn't aware of it. More often than not however, he took conscious effort not to sign.

The Bajoran cradled her cup in the gap of her crossed legs. “I’ll be sure to take you up on that. There must be plenty of ways I can integrate signing into my routine. Repetition is key, right?” She asked so many questions, did she have an apparent need to fill the silence to avoid more pressing topics? Ame didn’t think so.

He didn’t press on the pictures, as most would have. Support systems were already covered, downtime and hobbies, anxieties about the position and leadership, and adaptation to the new ship. So many subjects were covered in such a short amount of time. Her eyes moved to watch the wisps from her incense drift up from the table. The smell reminded her of visits to the temple with her grandfather on Bajor, listening to him tell her stories of the Celestial Temple and the keys to enlightenment.

Following her gaze, Savin wasn't sure what she was looking at. "Yes, repetition is key," he acknowledged, "and line of sight. For example, if you are turned and you speak and sign, I will not the able to tell that you are speaking at all. But that is my case, as I am deaf. Even so, if fo example NVeid is to know that you are signing, he needs to be able to see it even if he can hear you speak." He paused. "Have you worked with hearing or perhaps speech impaired people before?"

Ame’s eyes moved up from the incense to her colleague with a faint smile. “Of course, most were temporary, but there were a few permanent but not that I spent long periods with. I like a challenge. Learning a new skill keeps me on my toes. And it gives me something to aim for.” Her head tilted to one side in thought.

“Because of my speciality, I spend more time fixing things, I understand there are reasons why people don’t want medical procedures. It can be scary to have something change so drastically. It’s a very personal choice.” She didn’t always understand when it came to immediate trauma but everyone had their reasons. If there was a concern it was for the wrong reasons there would be a psychological review.

"It is scary," Savin acknowledged, "and surgery does not always have the expected or desired effect." He paused, watching her for a reaction to his statement. "I speak from personnel experience," he continued, "I was born deaf, I learned to speak through telepathy and my skills were honed with the help of Jerant. We grew up together through circumstance, because he was born telepathic and our parents brought us together at a young age. A few years ago, I was encouraged to attempt surgery but it did not have the desired effect."

The counselor paused again, taking a moment to sip his tea. "I could hear... to a degree but it was only two low pitch tones and I could not make any sense of it. The sound was having a disastrous effect on me, inhibiting my ability to function as it was driving me to brink of despair. I made the choice to have the surgery reversed, as my handicap made me into who I am now."

She understood that the regret rate was considerably higher as well, “Nothing is guaranteed, expectations are personal. No one should be in pain.” Ame reconfirmed before taking another sip from her cup, it was nearly empty. “I’ve not experienced it personally, but I try my best to understand and respect these decisions. I know to check myself. It should be free of judgment.”

The Bajoran drained the rest of her cup and rested it on the table, fingertips made sure there was no chance of it falling. “Sensory overload is a very sensitive subject and everyone has different levels of tolerance.” Heat, humidity, physical, auditory and visual. Self-soothing can only get so far before things get out of control and unbearable as Savin had so rightly explained. “I’m glad you made the decision that suits you and didn’t force yourself into many more corrective procedures. I’ve seen that before.”

She drew a tentative breath, “I know I’ve been lucky by the standards of some officers and crew. My father told me a lot of stories from the Occupation, I’ve had an easy life in comparison. Even in service, my moments of struggle seem pretty trivial when you look back at things.” Ame knew she was lucky and she was grateful that she’d been able to help in moments of need both great and small.

"No struggle is trivial," Savin offered without pause. "It may seem such, but it never is. Every struggle deserves attention but it is up to the person when they are ready to deal with it." He took finished his tea. "And when you are, then I am here to help you with that. On your terms, and wherever you choose."

Ame nodded again. “Hindsight is a wonderful thing.” She answered looking back to her colleague. “I touched on things for the first time with NVeid and it made me feel … weird. I didn’t expect things to come up so soon. I thought I had a few days before memories and past tenses would need to be used. Listening to him gave me that little tingle of doubt.”

Her hand raised up, alongside her temple and into the hairline tapping her fingers against the side of her head. “That niggly feeling that perhaps I was too harsh and too quick. But, my decision is made, legal things are almost done.” Her hand lowered again, settling back into her lap, “He can lay in his bed.” She shrugged, that was enough for now. “Was there anything else you wanted to know? Any questions?” Conversations on the morality of adultery and its impact would need much more time and perhaps a bigger chair.

"Any questions can wait until you are ready to answer them. And I am available if you wish for someone to listen." He smiled again. "But not today... perhaps in a few days?"

The Bajoran arched a brow and her lips pinched into a tight smile, “The last thing I want to do is rehash things. Once is enough, but like you said, let’s save it for another day.”

A moment in thought made her remember something the Commodore had said to her, “Oh! The Commodore invited me to eat with him, do you have any tips? He said to bring a dish of my choice, I know what I like but I don’t want to kill the man … that would be an achievement on my part. Anything to avoid?”

"Not that I am aware of," Savin answered, "I fear that I am not aware of the commodore's eating habits. His allergies should be in his medical records, if there are any."

“I’ve already checked for major crew allergies before I transferred.” Ame answered with a glance toward the floor, that wasn’t what she’d hoped for, some kind of insight would be great, “I don’t know whether to go enjoyable comfort or fancy formal. It’s a lot to ask of someone you’ve just met no? Especially one on one.”

Her lips pinched to one side, “I could do a rib roast with all the trimmings, or maybe those spicy chewy things Amah used to make in the Bajoran winters when I used to visit.” Her shoulders lifted into a shrug.

"I am not familiar with Bajoran cuisine, but he did tell you to bring what your favourite dish is, did he not? Why not choose a mix of formal and casual? I have the distinct impression he wants you to feel comfortable."

“I’m pretty sure it was something that had meaning to me, rather than a favourite. But, favourites usually have a meaning right?” Her mind went back again to things that had meaning, hot summer shore leaves with slow-cooked meats in a sweet smoky glaze. Hardly suitable for the Captain’s Mess unless a bib wasn’t too much to ask for.

Ame’s nose scrunched in thought and she shrugged again, “Spicy chewy stew it is. I’ll have to see if I can get into the kitchen, who do I need to warn about potential burnt pans?” She teased, partially. There was a bit of a reputation for the dumplings sticking to the bottom of the pan if you weren’t careful.

"Pans?" Savin arched a single eyebrow at her in genuine surprise. "Why would you need pans, do you not program you replicator?"

A look of concern panged the Bajoran’s face, “Well yes, I could program the replicator, but I’m pretty sure this ship has a kitchen no? If I’m going to serve something that means something to me, I want to serve it with the meaning behind it.” Ame answered leaning forward in her seat and resting her elbows on her knees.

“I’ve never done this before, been a department head or had dinner with a CO. I wasn’t part of that.” She added honestly. “Replicators are great and convenient.” Her shoulders hunched into a shrug, “I don’t know Savin.”

For a moment, the counselor remained silent, as if he hadn't noticed her speaking. "You could recreate a kitchen on the holodeck, could you not?" He then spoke up, looking at her in earnest.

She tilted her head in consideration of his suggestion, “I could, I’ve no idea. I’ve never done this stuff before.” There was a moment where she almost threw her hands into the air out of frustration, “I want to make a good impression on someone I know so little about, it's daunting… to say the least.”

Ame sighed softly, “What would you take to dinner in the Captain’s Mess?”

"I do not know. Probably a dish my mother used to make when I was a child. But I am not certain the captain has a taste for Vulcan cuisine." Savin chuckled. "I actually do not recall having ever been invited to dinner with the captain but then...one of my profession is usually one a captain avoids like the plague, is it not?

“Well, looks like we’re on the same frequency!” Ame laughed softly, “I’m a Doctor, not a caterer. Most people prefer to avoid sick bay. Birds of a feather flock together.” It was another earth idiom she’d picked up and internally got annoyed over the source of it. Awkwardly she scratched the back of her head, “You’re the head of a department, I’m sure you’ll share my hardships soon enough.” She grinned.

"Birds of a feather?" Savin stared at her, not quite certain he had interpreted that correctly, "there are no birds here doctor. And I believe you will be less avoided than I, they don't mind seeing a doctor if they need to a counsellor however.... no-one likes to be analysed..."

“It’s an earth saying, creatures of the same variety stick together.” Ame explains, “Medical, Blue shirts.” Scientists were seemingly more palatable to most. She shrugged at his comment about being analysed, “Sometimes self-reflection is useful. Others can see things that you can’t or refuse to see. I see the value in that, even if I might not like it. The mind and body go hand in hand, it's hard to do one without the other. Especially in extremes.”

"I would agree. And I have been on the medical side too, both as patient after severe injury, as you are aware...but also as doctor. I have briefly served as medical chief, as an interim. I actually do prefer counselling. But I appreciate your position." He paused. "Between you and me we can only try to keep the crew healthy, but only if they want it themselves. We cannot enforce it."

Another faint smile found its way to her lips, “You’re right, that’s where we have to notice the little things, the nuances that most people wouldn’t seem to notice. Changes in diet, tardiness, mood swings, holodeck use … and so much more.” Her hands lifted to then fan out like a magical rainbow.

“More tea?” Ame asked uncrossing her legs, letting them unfurl and stretching out her toes.

"Please. It seems we have much to discuss on how we are going to achieve this...goal we have just set ourselves to."

The Bajoran’s head tilted eyes narrowing at her colleague, “I thought this was my psychological review?” She smiled and hopped to her feet, extending a hand to collect his empty mug and her own from the table. The movement of the mug caused the delicate end of the incense to crumble onto its holder.

"Are goals not often part of a review?" Savin asked, handing his empty mug over. "You seem psychologically sound to me, despite there being this case of...sadness. But you are not required to discuss that until such a time you are ready to, since I trust this will not impair your judgement while you are on duty."

“I thought we already covered that?” Ame accepted the mug and returned to the replicator to dispose of them and start over. It wasn’t an out, she was purely curious about his thought process. He was right, she was sad, angry and grieving; it was certainly a conversation for another day and not day two of her assignment.

After dematerialising out of existence, they were quickly replaced with her simple commands. She collected one cup after the other and returned the hot drink to her colleague. “There’ll be no impairment of my judgement, even if he turns up in my sickbay.” Perhaps it wasn’t wise to tempt fate this way, but the likelihood was slim.

Savin shook his head. "I meant that as a statement, not a query. Allow me to rephrase doctor...I am certain your trauma will not impair your judgement. If anything, I am actually certain it may well enhance it."

Her brow raised and then her eyes narrowed at her guest as she returned to her guest. “I’m glad to hear. I think so anyway.” She sipped her coffee taking a moment to take in the fact she’d made such a good impression in a matter of days. Ame wasn’t sure about enhancing her ability to do her job but she was sure she’d find out soon enough.

"Time will tell," the counsellor answered as he cradled his mug between his hands. "In the meantime, I recommend getting to know your staff, and if you are in need of an extra pair of hands in an emergency, I am qualified to assist." He paused a moment. "To remain qualified however, you should schedule me in a few times a week...

She couldn’t help but chuckle at his rapid change in position from ‘it won’t’ to ‘we’ll see’. Ame nodded and cradled her cup keeping her hands warm. “I will, I’ve met a few nurses and junior staff along with N’veid.” Her nose scrunched at his comment about remaining qualified.

“I’ve no reason to avoid you, I wouldn’t have invited you here if that’s the case. I just wanted time to settle before I get into … that.” She thought it wasn’t an unreasonable response, it was a lot to unpack and needed more time once the conversation had been finished.

"I understand doctor," Savin answered, "and I repeat, we can go into...that...when you are ready." He set his cup down, after finishing it. "I should leave you to your evening now doctor. Let me know when I am expected in sickbay."

Ame had the feeling there would be a lot of repetition between the two of them, but she didn’t mind. “If you’re not in pain, I’ll get you back in after the party. That’s over 48 hours since our first session.” She answered glancing down at his empty cup and setting down hers to bid him adieu.

"I meant in terms of a shift," Savin clarified, "when you roster me in let me know. I will need to let Jerant know in that event as his assistance may be required. That is, after all, his job, to assist me outside of counseling sessions, even if he is bound to the same oaths as I am." The door slid aside as he approached. "Have a good evening doctor."