Replicator randomness

Posted on Tue Aug 27th, 2024 @ 4:39am by Ensign Liam O'Connor & Lieutenant JG Astrja Kyan

Mission: Into the Qniverse
Location: Ops Office
Timeline: On the way to the pleasure planet
1349 words - 2.7 OF Standard Post Measure

Astrja leaned back in her chair tossing holographic darts at a target of a Gorn ship on the far wall. She was trying to track down a communications flutter in the internal network that began manifesting after the multi-vector attack mode ended and the ship reassembled. She had not even been able to confirm if it was physical problem or in the software. A set of software agents were crawling the system and should report soon.

Liam stepped into the operations office with a determined stride, his thoughts still swirling around his earlier encounter with Teyo. The replicator issue was vexing him—it seemed minor, yet Teyo's reaction had hinted at something deeper. He found Astrja at her station, engrossed in her work with holographic darts and clearly focused on a complex technical issue.

"Lieutenant," Liam greeted her, trying to keep his tone light despite his underlying concern. "Mind if I pick your brain about an outback critter crawler in our replicator systems?" He leaned against a nearby console, folding his arms thoughtfully.

Astrja smiled and sat forward. "I am all antennae, Ensign O'Conner, yes? A replicator problem? I thought everything was running smoothly with those systems."

Liam shook his head, his brow furrowing with concern. "Well, you see, I've run several diagnostics, and the computer confirms that there are no malfunctions in the replicator systems. Yet, Ensign Fenn's orders are consistently being ignored or messed up. It's quite baffling, really, and I’d not believe it if I hadn’t seen it for myself,” he explained, his voice tinged with a mix of frustration and empathy. "It's left him understandably upset."

He paused, choosing his words carefully. "I don't think this is solely an engineering issue. It might involve operations too, considering the nature of the problem. I suspect there could be some foul play at hand, or perhaps it's just a prank gone wrong," Liam continued, trying to keep the tone light despite the seriousness of the situation. "Either way, I think we need to investigate further to get to the bottom of this. Ensign Fenn deserves to have his concerns addressed, and we can't have these kinds of disruptions on board."

Astrja sighed. "How are Ensign Fenn orders being 'messed up' as you put it? Has it been affecting anyone else?" Her fingers danced over the holographic keys. "I am sorry to hear that this situation has upset Ensign Fenn. If it is not a problem in the mechanics of the replicator it must be a programming issue."

Liam nodded in agreement, "Programming was exactly where I was leaning," he began, his voice steady but tinged with frustration. "The replicator works for everyone except Teyo, which suggests an additional programming layer specifically targeting his commands. It could be a programming malfunction from a recent update from Starfleet Computer Sciences or, worse, a virus targeting his commands. The more I consider the possibilities, the more it seems like this is either a malicious attack or a prank."

"Is it creating anything dangerous?" Astrja asked scanning code. "And what exactly is happening to Ensign Fenn's order?" she inquired again.

"When the Ensign tries to order something it gives him something similar but its never actually what he wanted for example when i first found out he tried ordering a black coffee, but he got a frothy white coffee, with cream, chocolate sprinkles, and a cherry on top. H was rather frustrated, so nothing dangerous unless you're allergic to chocolate sprinkles and cherries suppose." Liam said with a shrug, "I just don't like things not working."

Astrja nodded and peeled a set of holographic code out of her display. "It is a cognitive worm, it takes the order given and extrapolates the next most complex item and then adds to that for the next order and so on until you get a white coffee with multiple toppings when ordering black coffee." She folded it in half, "Now removed. Ensign Fenn can enjoy his black coffee again."

Liam was astonished by how swiftly she identified the problem, determined the right course of action, and executed it in just a matter of moments. His surprise was evident on his face. “Wow, that was impressively fast! How did you manage to do that so quickly? Could you show me? Just in case it happens again.”

"When you access the replicator, if you ask for something keyed to your personal preferences, say I asked for Andorian The, Ajzure-blend Three, hot with honey," Astrja explained. "The queue for your orders stays open for a few minutes, linked into your preferences file, if you have not secured it, which most people do not, there is a window of opportunity for someone to slip in a piece of code like this." She rotated the holographic display, which showed a list of all of Astrja's customized dishes and drinks, and it was extensive. "You just need to look to see if there is a root code affecting the person's entire file," she demonstrated, showing her system was both clean of such and locked. "It is a common prank, make someone's food all pink, increase or decrease sweetener, there is a lot you can do with a replicator that is not harmful but really, really annoying. Or the person could be more subtle and target particular dishes or drinks as well, in that case you run a scan for preference changes instituted by someone other than the owner of the file," she showed how that was done and several items were highlighted in yellow. She tapped one, "That is where Cadet Roshi adjusted my cheesecake to be a brilliant, transparent blue. It made him so squeamish watching me eat it, I left it that way."

“It’s true what they say, you really do learn something new every day.” He said finally, “Teyo will be pleased that he can order his coffee again, say is there a way of finding out who pulled the prank?” It would be good for him to let Teyo know the person behind the wheel of this short-lived and hopefully non-recurring event.

Astrja flicked a hologram over to Liam, it was of a laughing Buddha. "This was tagged to the cognitive worm, so I suspect it was some sort of prank. Does Ensign Fenn have anyone who would be interested in doing such a thing to trouble them?"

Liam shrugged, “I only met the guy once and that didn’t end so well, he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder so it wouldn’t surprise me if this was either a friendly or less so prank” he explained, “What do you know of the ensign?” He asked curiously.

"We had drinks shortly after I arrived on board," said Astrja, "but afterward things got so busy, what with rescues and all, we really have not had time to meet up again."

"No problem I wondered if you could have answered why he was acting the way he had but I think I'll have to keep on guessing." Liam shrugged, "Well I think we're all done here, perhaps the culprit will own up to the prank once they realise it was discovered."

"Perhaps," said Astrja with a splay of her antennae that is the Andorian shrug. "So, is there anything else Ops can help you with today? It is what we do, help."

Liam pondered for a moment. The explanation and demonstration provided by Astrja were more than helpful and gave him his quick 'win'. He appreciated the help and now understood the mechanism behind the prank. "For now, I'm happy with the help you've provided," he thought, grateful for the clarity. However, he decided to keep the information in mind for any future issues that might arise. "Thank you for your assistance, Astrja," he said aloud. "I'll keep this in mind if anything else comes up."

"Do that. Prank wars can be positive or negative for morale, and we certainly do not want one to spiral out of control and attract the attention of the command staff," said Astrja with a grin.