When is a Vulcan, not a Vulcan?

Posted on Mon Feb 6th, 2023 @ 11:56am by Lieutenant Commander P’rel M.D & Lieutenant Commander Savin

Mission: Character Development
Location: P'Rel's office
Timeline: En Route to Earth
1619 words - 3.2 OF Standard Post Measure

Now that the Athena was in 'safe space' again, Savin had fully expected the intelligence chief to come in for a talk, pretty much as was protocol after a traumatic event. However, knowing the Vulcan woman well enough - he hoped - he wasn't exactly surprised when she didn't. So, he headed once again, out to see her instead.

"Good morning doctor," he greeted as he peered around the doorframe into her office. "Have you got a moment?"

Her eyes raising slowly, very slowly, from the report she was writing, P'rel looked at the face of Counsellor Savin. He was using her medical title, and so clearly wanted something. "No." she answered flatly, not yet returning her eyes to the report.

"Then I recommend you make one," the counselor answered pleasantly as he took a seat across from her desk without being invited to do so. "You are, as a medical professional, aware of the protocols regarding traumatic events?" He would have to call upon her logic and the Vulcan habit of following protocol in order for her to even see his reason for visiting her. Obviously, this was not a regular visit.

Tapping the recess command on her desk, the monitor slid beneath the metal surface and the touch panel turned off; "I am" she conceded, though still not willing to give Savin an inch.

"The you are also aware of the requirement to come and see me, and that I can declare you unfit for duty, if you do not?" It was a flat out attempt to get a response, the threat deliberately delivered. He watched her as he waited for her response, though there was no malice in his voice and his posture was open, his hands resting lightly in his lap as he sat.

P'rel glared at Savin. She didn't like him. Not one bit. Though he was as dogged and determined as she, and that at very least endeared him to her slightly and earned him a modicum of respect. Inwardly sighing, she conceded defeat; "what is it exactly I can do for you Counsellor Savin?" she asked, unsure of if the irritation she felt was carrying in her voice.

"You can talk to me," the counselor answered pleasantly. Given his impairment, he was unaware of her tone of voice, however the subtle changes in her expression -which he was well trained to notice- were not lost on him. "And the sooner you get this requirement over with the sooner I can mark you cleared for duty. I do not need to know that which may be classified. You only need to tell me how you experienced matters, and how you are coping with it. Even Vulcans need an outlet, correct?"

Cocking an eyebrow, P'rel truthfully conceded that yes "Indeed Counsellor, even Vulcans require an outlet..." though she continued; "I do not, however, comprehend why such an outlet must confirm to rigidity and protocols. As a therapist, you must by default surely ascribe to a patient centered practice, and yet you would not find it acceptable to permit myself - as a Vulcan - to find an 'outlet' in solitary meditation and private reflection, would you?"

"I would yes," the counselor conceded, "however regulations do not. And I do try to tend to a patient's needs. Do I not go there, where a patient is comfortable, rather than make him or her come to my office and lie on a couch?" He arched an eyebrow at her. "I am here, instead of you being in my office," he pointed out. "However, I am not certain that meditation and private reflection are a means to...cope. What else do you do to ah...let things out? And I mean out, not keep it all in, bottled up and ready to explode."

Spinning slightly in her chair and steepling her fingers, P'rel was frustrated at the human-centric mantra in Starfleet regarding mental health and her irritation, unguarded, began to creep into her voice; "Your assumption, Counsellor, being that meditation and private reflection are insufficient means with which to cope?".

"I do not make assumptions," the counselor answered quietly, "my statement is based on observation. Granted, observation of Humans as Vulcans are generally rather elusive when it comes to visiting a counselor." While the tone of her voice was lost on him, her expression and body language were not. "And you, obviously, are not what one could call a usual Vulcan. You emote."

Biting back to divert the conversation, P'rel wryly responded; "And you Counsellor, are not what one could call a usual Romulan; would you not say?"

"I am not," Savin conceded, "but then I was raised Vulcan and did not know about my origins until a few years ago. Until then, I always believed I was Vulcan. The Romulans that I did deal with, were very emotional people." He arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you trying to insinuate you are not Vulcan then?"

P'rel smiled at Savin, a genuine smile for once; "A human idiom....to be or not to be...." she thought on the words for a moment; what, really, were any of them if defined by a species alone. "What is it you wish to be, Counsellor?" she asked, pleased that at least for now she seemed to have been able to lead Savin down a path which was not focused directly at herself.

He did notice the diversion but allowed it, for now. "That depends on the context of your question," he answered, "if you mean career wise, I wish to be as good a counselor as I can be. If you are referring to me privately, then I do not know. Genetically I am Romulan, but by upbringing I am Vulcan. Due to my...personal nature, I have a need to emote because it assists in communication. What I would like most, I suppose, is to find a balance in it all. But I do not know how, and I am still in the process of discovering that." He paused, studying her. "What do you wish to be?"

P'rel offered a largely, though in truth not entirely, feigned smile; if she were totally honest with herself she rather enjoyed the verbal Targ and Ch'vok games with Savin - or 'cat and mouse' if she were to use the closest human idiom. "To be left in peace to conduct my work".

"Allow me to rephrase," the counselor said, unable to withhold a smile. "What kind of individual do you wish to be? As a person."

"I presume if I said a solitary one, you would still not leave?" the Vulcan sparred back.

"Eventually," the Romulan countered, equally enjoying the sparring. "You still have not entirely answered my question. For a Vulcan, you appear to be displaying quite an amount of emotion, therefor I do not believe you are a follower of the path of Surak. So my question regarding your own insinuation still stands, are you not entirely Vulcan? Or do you not wish to be."

Taking a deep contemplative breath in, P'rel again steepled her fingers. "Does one follow the path of Surak..." she verbally mused; "a complicated answer to a simple question Counsellor...". She paused a moment, organising her words; "V'tosh Ka'tur... 'Vulcans without logic'... was a name handed to those by ancient Vulcan elders, whom did not embrace the suppression of emotion. It was a political statement, and like many political statements entirely inaccurate; one could theorise that the elders of the time were fearful of a return to the banners of the Raptor's Wings - an emotional response in itself - and so segregated and ostracised anyone who didn't devoutly follow Surak's approach...". She paused a further moment, noting Savin's interest evident on his face; "Whilst I embrace emotion, this is not at the expense of logic. Surak in almost every way was entirely correct; Vulcans are indeed creatures of great emotional depth, savagely so at times. However, as Ambassador Spock was oft cited 'Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end'; my emotional engagement equips me with skills and has borne experiences which make me a better, more competent, and proficient person. Am I entirely Vulcan? Yes. One might say even more so; the total suppression of emotional engagement is comparatively easy - one masters the art of switching it off. To combine both logic and emotion...this is a significant skill, requiring constant awareness and reflection...". P'rel offered the Counsellor a wry smile; "solitary reflection".

"Or being Romulan," Savin smiled at her. "As I employ emotion as well, and am capable of employing logic when needed. I can use emotional control but more often than not, I choose not to." He stood, and reached to pat her shoulder. "You are who you are, do not let anyone tell you differently. Even emotional Vulcans are still Vulcan, there is no shame in it. And any Vulcan showing disapproval can be alerted to their own emotional outburst." Pulling his hand back, he straightened. "At some point I would like to hear more about your emotional journey and how you came to accept it."

P'rel rose and used the motion to step back from Savin's hand hopefully hiding the withdrawal in the act of standing; it certainly wasn't him specifically, but physical touch was on her terms and not an insignificant act. "At some point..." she conceded with a small smile and nod, raising her left hand and parting her fingers and thumb. "Good day to you, Counsellor".

"Good day doctor," Savin answered as he countered her gesture with one of his own. "Until we meet again." And that was certainly a promise.