Ghosts

Posted on Thu Jul 28th, 2022 @ 7:40am by Senior Chief Petty Officer Mason Malone & Lieutenant Commander Finnley Keating VII

Mission: Character Development
Location: Engineering
Timeline: MD1
2282 words - 4.6 OF Standard Post Measure

It had taken days for Mason to work up the courage. Somehow, he hadn't felt able to face one of his best friends on board, and he'd been utterly terrified to even contact his 'mud-buddy'. Not even to see how she'd been doing after he had learned of her rescue. Slowly, he walked into engineering, ignoring any engineer that looked his way.

"Finn?" he called, his voice shaking a little with anxiety. "Finn, you here?"

The chief popped her head out of her office to see Mason, looking somewhat nervous. "Hey Mason, come on in," she motioned towards the room. "What can I do for you?" She was a little surprised that she hadn't seen him before now. Then again, she hadn't made an effort to seek him out so maybe it wasn't surprising at all.

The security officer took an involuntary step back at the sight of her, it felt like he was looking at a ghost. He took a deep breath and forced himself to take the few necessary steps towards the office, closing the door behind him but staying right next to the door just in case. "How do yo feel?" he asked slowly as he worked to get his fast breathing back under control.

"Fine...how are you?" She asked, brow raised in concern. "You seem a little nervous or on edge or something." It wasn't a look Finn was accustomed to seeing on the security officer and it was somewhat unsettling.

"I feel like I'm seeing a ghost," Mason admitted, "I saw you die...."

"You were there? Admittedly I haven't read the full report yet. I wasn't sure I wanted to," Finn confessed. "Can you tell me how it happened?"

"Yeah I was there... I answered the security alert." Mason looked away, visibly fidgeting with discomfort. "I killed you," he finally admitted. "Well... her you... not you you, obviously."

"Wait, what?" Finn looked at her friend with moderate shock. "What exactly happened?" She wondered how he had been sure that the clone wasn't the real version of herself. Was he sure that she was the real version now?

"I don't really know what happened before me and my team arrived but Lieutenant Leiko was unconscious and you.. she... said he'd gone nuts and she tried to stop him. Except we never received any such alert and he had sent the silent alarm. Except she claimed she had done it using his badge, which just didn't make sense. She continued to spread lies and I just could tell she was lying you know?" he babbled on, "so I stunned her, but when I went to check on her just in case she caught me by surprise and grabbed my phaser, -after a bit of a struggle thumbing it to kill." He drew in a deep breath before continuing. "So when she aimed it at me, I grabbed my dagger and killed her. Then I went to check on Leiko and what happened after...is a bit of a haze still..."

"Oh. Wow. I can't believe I, I mean, she, turned it to kill. I would never. I'm so sorry Mason," Finn said with a regretful expression as though she was the one that had performed the transgression. How could I have done that to Mason? Even with all of the memories? She wondered and in some ways wished that her clone was still alive. Finn needed to know what motivation was so great that she could jeopardize everyone she loved.

"it's not your fault," Mason muttered, "it wasn't you but.. seeing you..." He looked up. "I'm sorry it took me so long to come and see you I just... couldn't get myself to do it. I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault either. I'm just glad you have such good reflexes and that I didn't kill you," she offered a genuine smile. "You don't think I would kill you right? Is that why you were hesitant to come and see me?"

"That's marine training for you..." Mason offered a thin smile which didn't reach his eyes. "And yeah...I think you would. If push comes to shove and I were a danger to others, then yeah... I'd expect you to, to be honest." He sighed. "It took me so long because I a way...she was still you. Pretty much down to a tee... I still feel like I'm looking at a ghost."

"I guess you're right. She was me after all," Finn's smile fell into a solemn glance. Her clone wasn't so different really. She had almost killed two of her closest friends, just as Finn had killed Silnan. Finn supposed the only difference was that she was better at killing than her clone. "I'm glad you killed her and you don't have to come to see me. I understand, I really do. You can walk out right now and I won't blame you a bit. In fact...you're probably better off if you do," Finn made a determined nod as if reassuring the security officer that it was the right choice.

"I'll see you around. Maybe in time, we can go back to the way things were," she lied. More and more the past few days had done nothing but show her that the further she was from people, the better off they would be. She was dangerous and she couldn't be trusted. In fact, Finn had started to wonder whether in fact, the uniform was worth it. Perhaps Starfleet would be better off without her in it.

"What?" Surprise flickered across his face. "No, you don't understand... She had everyone fooled.... Why would I walk away? Why would I be better off?" He frowned. "I know it took me a long time and that's on me...but...you could've come to me too...why didn't you?"

Finn shrugged. "It's been busy. Pretty much anytime I'm not sleeping I'm working, trying to find what other me did to the ship before it comes back to bite us in the butt. Besides, would you have even been able to look at me if I'd come to see you sooner? Not that I'd blame you if you couldn't." He wasn't wrong. She could've gone to him, but she hadn't wanted to see anyone at all.

"I don't know," Mason admitted slowly, "I know the longer you put something off, the harder it becomes.... I've been afraid of Gorn for a while after Zhas clawed me when I was a teenager... I'm glad to see you're okay though...and I hope we can go mudding again soon?"

"Sure, we can go mudding again," Finn nodded even though it was a statement she had no intention to keep. "I'm sorry you had to kill clone me, but it was the right thing to do. I couldn't forgive myself if she had killed you."

"Tomorrow? Or after dinner?" Mason asked, looking hopeful. Something was wrong though, and he couldn't figure out what.

"Maybe tomorrow. I'll let you know after my shift, ok?" Finn said, thinking maybe he would just forget the whole ordeal by then. The whole conversation sent daggers into her heart. She didn't want to lose the friendship she had with Mason, but it was too dangerous for him to stay close.

"Don't lie to me..." He'd spotted the lie, even though he didn't know why she lied. The hurt over it was visible on his face. "You don't have to tell me why, but please don't lie to me... I get it if you don't want to hang out, but don't lie."

"I forget that you can read me like a book," Finn smiled, though the expression was sad and hollow. "I want to go mudding with you Mason, I do. I just don't think it's the best idea."

"Why not? You're my friend, my mud-buddy. I mean I love George, I really do but mudding isn't his thing..." He cast her an imploring look, the best puppy-eyes he could muster. "Please?"

"Don't you realize what I did? What clone me did? You were almost killed, just because you were close to me. I couldn't live with it if she'd hurt you, or Xav, or anyone else. We can't do this," Finn motioned between Mason and herself, "anymore. It's too dangerous for everyone else." It broke her heart to say the words, but it had to be done.

"But that wasn't you. And.. I have a hell of a lot more training than you do... I'm trained to protect..." Mason turned his head. "George!" he yelled out, "I need you in the office, I need your help. Now!" He turned back to Finn. "You think I'm giving up that easy? You think I'm going to leave you behind? Marines don't leave anyone behind, ever."

"It was me. Literally the same DNA and memories. Besides, I'm not a marine and you're not leaving me behind. I'm right here, I'm totally fine. I just don't think we should spend time together anymore. I'm sorry Mason, but you won't change my mind." She looked up at him unwavering in her disposition.

George entered the room moments later. "Oh, hi Mason," his bright smile lit up the room. "How can I help you two?"

"Finn's going nuts," Mason stated, far from calmly, "I came to see her and now she's saying we shouldn't be friends...she thinks it's too dangerous for me, to be her friend...please tell her she's wrong?"

"You're dismissed, Paxton. You don't need to get in the middle of this," Finn shot Mason a glare, almost daring him to try to step on her order.

Paxton sighed. He wanted to help Mason and he even agreed with him, but his hands were basically tied. He turned to Finn and looked at her with compassion. "Commander, I won't pretend to know what you're going through but from what I can tell I think you should be keeping your friends close, not pushing them away." With that, he nodded and saw himself back out of the office.

Mason reached out and brushed George's hand as the man backed out. "He's right Finn, and trust me, I do know what you're going through...to a degree anyway.. please, let us in, let us help..."

"I don't NEED help! Why can't anyone get that through their thick heads?!" Finn said, a little louder than she should have. "All I need is for everyone else to stay safe and stay away. It's not that much to ask for. I don't know why it's so difficult lately for anyone to do that!"

"Because we care Finn... because we care. You can't do this alone, please trust me on that...I've seen fellow marines try and come back to needing their friends. I've been there myself...trust me... don't shut us out."

"Can't do what alone? There's nothing to do! I'm so sick of people telling me what to do." Finn sighed, exasperated from having this same argument over and over again. "Just leave Mason. There's nothing left for you here."

Mason stepped closer. "I can't do that. It wouldn't be very honourable."

"What are you going to do? Follow me around like a lost puppy all day until I agree to go mudding with you?" Anger started to sleep into her words as she said it through clenched teeth .

"As if I have time for that..." Mason was visibly stung over that comment. "You need your friends Finn, stop pushing us away.... I'm not going to let you push me away." Instead of backing off, he took another step closer, taking her hand in his. "Bottling things up isn't right... you need us."

"I need to get back to work," Finn took her hand back to her own possession. She could see the hurt in Mason's face and truly felt awful about what she'd said, but still she pressed on. "You said it yourself, you don't have time to follow me around so..." Finn motioned towards the door, signaling for him to leave.

"No.." Mason tried to stand his ground. He took another bold step forward, knowing full well how she felt about touch, and wrapped his arms around her. "Deal with it Finn, we're not going to allow you to push us away. So... deal with it."

Finn immediately broke out of the hug and walked behind her desk. "Fine, if you won't leave, I will. Don't you dare follow me." She said, angry that he was too stubborn to give up. "It's over Mason. Let it go." Was all she said before moving towards the door.

Still in the office, he blocked her path. By now he was sure they were starting to draw a crowd as their voices did carry into engineering. "No," he said again.

She let out an aggravated sigh. It was clear there was no getting rid of him and she didn't need to continue to gain an audience of ears outside the door. "Fine. I'll meet you on the obstacle course in two hours after my shift ends. Will that satisfy you?"

"Yes. And I'll come drag you there if you don't show," he promised in return, then stepped aside to let her pass.

"I know you will," she let out a half smile. "I'll see you later."

Mason just sighed as she walked by and followed her out of the office. His eyes searched George as he crossed engineering towards the exit and once he did, he cast the man a grateful smile. Thank you. he mouthed as he passed.