Encouragement

Posted on Sun Apr 3rd, 2022 @ 10:25am by Jerant van Rijn & Ensign Kateyo Fenn

Mission: Character Development
Location: Gym
Timeline: a few days after being cured
2016 words - 4 OF Standard Post Measure

Though fully cured as per the medical checks he'd been undergoing rather frequently, Jerant still felt a touch of exhaustion. Feelings from others came in flashes, just long enough for him to realize he sensed something, but not long enough for him to gather what exactly he had felt, or where it had come from. He wasn't sure if he really liked this development, as it was more confusing and even frustrating than being emotionally blind.

For a moment, the Betazoid hybrid stood like a lost child in the middle of the gym, not really sure what he had thought to find here. Then he spotted what might be a quiet corner for him to sit in, and perhaps try to center himself. Maybe, he reasoned, maybe he just needed to find himself again, and then his telepathy would fully return? It was worth a shot, wasn't it? He pulled off his shoes and socks, and made his way over, putting his footwear beside the mat before sitting down. Maybe, he then thought, letting his mind wander instead might help?

"Don't see you down here very often," Teyo said. He was standing over the man who was crossed-legged on the floor. Teyo's white vest was damp from his workout. The idea of being back in this gym, after the previous incident, didn't quite sit well with him, but he needed to strengthen his arm and this was the best place for that. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"

"Nah, you're not disturbing me," Jerant smiled as he opened his eyes and looked up. "You're Teyo, right? And you're right, I don't come here often, but now I was kind of looking for somewhere to ah, try and let my mind wander and see if I sense anything. Kind of hard to do on a holodeck, plus I don't really have the energy to go running across buildings right now." He nodded to the Trill's damp clothes. "What were you up to?"

"And you're Jerant. I've heard a lot about you," Teyo said with a toothy grin. He looked down at his damp clothes and shrugged, "the usual really. I'm normally down here a couple of times a week. I suppose it helps me focus when I need to, or at the very least gives me a distraction when I want it. Any luck? With the sensing things?" He had an incline that he knew what Jerant was going through, though he appeared to be more open about it than Xav had been at first.

"Did you now?" Jerant asked, before slowly shaking his head. "No not really. The occasional brief flash but not enough to make anything of it. I can hear Savin if he speaks directly to me, telepathically I mean, but I can't read him. It's utterly frustrating, like part of me is missing. I'd love to know how Xav feels, but I can't sense him and I haven't seen him since coming back aboard either." He sighed softly. "How do you do it? Being headblind as you are... no offense intended, sorry..."

Teyo instinctively held up his hand, "none taken," he said as he joined the Betazoid on the mat. "It's actually nice only hearing your own thoughts, I don't need more people telling me how much they dislike me if I'm being honest. I've often wondered how you guys deal with people's voices in your heads all day long. It must get ... crowded." Teyo pondered what it would actually be like and then just as quickly shook the thought away. He wasn't joking, he really would hate to know the consequences of his actions and his words. "Why haven't you seen Xav?" The Trill asked, his usual non-subtle self.

"I had the impression he wanted to be left alone," Jerant confessed, "so I thought to give him some space. As far as voices go I can only speak for myself. I learned from a very young age to filter out the voices, like building a mental wall to keep them out. Sensing feelings can't be helped, but I can keep from hearing thoughts. It's second nature to me. But now... it's like being deaf. And I get the occasional flash of something, and that's more frustrating than having nothing." He smiled thinly at the man. "I'm sure it'll come back... eventually. I mean, I almost died, I should be grateful I didn't, right? So... Have you seen him? How is he?"

Teyo nodded in understanding, well as much as he could being a non-telepath. "I have seen him, we drank, a lot," Teyo said rubbing his head instinctively. "If I'm being honest, he's not great. Xav, well it's complicated with him and his family but he has always prided himself on being the strongest telepath out of him and his brothers. Losing that has shaken him, made him vulnerable. If you don't mind me being so bold?" He asked, seeing the irony of asking something he normally would plough straight on with. "You say that you get the impression he wanted to be by himself, well I think your instincts are wrong. He needs someone to talk to, I think you do too. He needs you."

"No I don't mind you being so bold, I'd rather you be that way, especially now when I can't sense what you mean," Jerant offered. Of course, he had heard rumours in regards to this particular man, but he hadn't really cared. So far, in his own personal opinion, the man seemed honest, and without second agenda. And in truth, the man just seemed concerned for a mutual friend. "I'm not sure he needs me, in particular," he confessed, "because I feel he's keeping me at arm's length, especially since we got sick." Jerant paused as he considered Teyo's words a second time. "But if you say he needs me, why doesn't he come to see me then? We're in the same boat, I'm as blind as he is and I'm the strongest telepath out of my siblings too." Except he was trying really hard not to let it bother him too much, having faith that eventually things would return to normal. "Did he say anything to you about our being stuck in that shuttle?"

"Because he's a very stubborn man," Teyo said, knowing that was exactly the reason the two of them got on so well. "He didn't tell me too much," Teyo lied. He didn't want to get involved in Xav's relationship with this man, but he did want to help his friend as much as he possibly could. "The truth is, there's no right or wrong here. You could approach him and he can approach you, I just know he won't right now, he's in a bit of a hole. He won't listen to me, we have a complex relationship. He's great at saving me and watching out for my interests, but he also sees me as the annoying little brother, probably because he's the annoying little brother in his family. Regardless," Teyo continued, knowing that he was babbling now, "I know it's a lot to ask, but talk to him, please."

Listening intently, the Betazoid nodded. "I'll go see him," he promised, "and it's not a lot to ask, at least I don't really see how it is. You're trying to look out for a friend, that has to be appreciated. He had a really rough time in the shuttle, we both did really but I know he had it rough, especially after we discovered we lost our telepathy." He smiled sadly. "Don't think that it doesn't bother me, because it really does. I guess I'm just better at hiding it...for now."

Slowly, Jerant got to his feet. "Do you know where I can find him?"

"He's been ordered to take it easy," Teyo replied, "so I'm willing to bet he's in his office. The man loves to work," he added with a shrug. He also got to his feet and dusted off his shorts. "When you speak to him, please don't mention we had this chat, he won't forgive me for interfering."

"Now why would I tell him you told me?" Jerant arched an eyebrow at him in near perfect Vulcan fashion. "For all he knows I took the initiative to look him up." He reached and patted the muscular Trill's arm. "Don't worry, I won't tell him you made this suggestion. And you're right, he does love to work. Even when he was dying he insisted on working and there wasn't much I could do or say to change his mind."

Teyo smiled, both at the friendly pat on the arm and the idea of Xav working whilst he was dying. Some things never change, and Xavier Leiko was one of them. "Thank you Jerant."

The trill went to walk away, thinking he had taken up enough of the Betazoid's time when he suddenly stopped and turned back to face the man again. "Another bold question," Teyo said before he could help himself. "How are things going with Xav? With you two I mean? He's being unnaturally coy with me." Teyo had known Xavier a long time, he was pretty open, like most Betazoids, about his relationships, good or bad. However, this one seemed different, guarded somehow.

"I'm actually not sure," Jerant admitted honestly, "though of course I've been careful while we were sick. Not that we had much energy to talk about things to begin with, but I was hoping for another date at some point. I did something stupid when we had our second date, and I think things were a bit on the slow burner for us since then." He gritted his teeth a moment as he recalled the remark, then forced a smile. "I'm sure we'll be alright, in the long run. He just needed some space, I hope." He failed to mention the few times they had actually come close to some form of intimacy when they were in the shuttle, the few moments of proper tension which they had chosen not to act on it -be it consciously or unconsciously so. He considered that, for the moment, a private affair. "What do you mean with unnaturally coy?"

Teyo nods in understanding, it was exactly what he had feared, his friend had lost his drive. "He's normally really open," he said answering the question, whilst keeping his thoughts to himself. "I'm sure you're the same with people in your life. I think, cause he's Betazoid and can read our minds, well normally can, he thinks it's only fair that he shares his innermost thoughts with his nearest and dearest. He's been different about you though, he's kept it all pretty private. I don't think that's a bad thing," he hastened to add, "just different."

Jerant nodded slowly. "Nothing wrong with private," he agreed, "though I'm not really like that. I can't avoid reading feelings, normally, but I do my best not to read someone's thoughts if I don't have permission to do so. Sometimes it's unavoidable, but I do try. Unlike him, I was born telepathic, and I had Vulcan training to learn to control it." He smiled encouragingly. "Don't give up on him," he encouraged, "I'm sure he'll be alright. I'll go talk to him, and we'll figure something out. Maybe we need someone to help us... maybe to practice with in regards to our telepathy."

Teyo smiled, "I would never give up on Xav, he never has with me. I'm glad he has you fighting for him too," he added sincerely. He checked the time and gasped. "I have to run, if I'm late again Finn is going to break my lucky arm. Good luck with your chat."

"Thanks...and if you're late you can tell her I kept you... I'll vouch for you this time." It was the least he could do wasn't it? Seeing as trying to meditate was now off the table, Jerant started to leave as well, he needed to find his friend, preferably sooner rather than later.