Quiet and Alone

Posted on Mon Dec 20th, 2021 @ 8:19pm by Lieutenant Xavier Leiko & Jerant van Rijn

Mission: With Gleaming Eyes
Location: Triage Site, Ithaca II
Timeline: MD02 - Night Time
2310 words - 4.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Xavier had awoken a few hours after passing out. The medical staff had made him as comfortable as possible whilst monitoring his vitals and regularly giving him hyposprays to combat the effects of the virus he had been infected with. Finn had been given the all clear and though he was happy for his friend, he couldn't help feel a pang of jealousy that he would have to go through this alone. He hated himself for thinking that, but misery really did love company. He hated being around these Metis, they smelled of sickness and death. Xavier knew that they couldn't help it but it didn't make the experience any more tolerable. He managed to convince the medical staff to let him isolate in the shuttle that he and Keating had used to travel to the surface. They didn't like the idea at first, but he was a senior officer and that came with certain advantages.

Xavier was way more comfortable in the shuttle, the aft area had a couple of bunks and he could adjust the temperature to suit his own needs. At least if he was going to die here, it would be in comfort. He was lost in his own thoughts when one of the EV suited medical staff appeared in the doorway.

"Sir, you're going to have to share this space with someone else. From the ship," the officer quickly added, clearly seeing the repulsed look on the Betazoid's face.

"Who?" Xavier asked, now more curious than disgusted.

Before the officer could answer, Jerant was escorted through the door, a silver survival blanket wrapped around his pale looking body. Xavier sat up looking at his friend. "Jerant, are you okay?"

"Not really," Jerant answered, looking utterly miserable. "I feel like I'm freezing, and I'm pretty scared, especially at how quickly symptoms started after exposure. I was talking to a bunch of children earlier, trying to get them to help me learn their language. Somehow, they managed to get my helmet off and tried to lure me into getting it back. When I didn't they lost interest in it, and I grabbed it and reported to medical. I didn't take my suit off until someone in a suit was able to help."

He flopped down on one of the chairs, wrapping the blanket closer around his body. "I'm so cold," he murmured absently, visibly shivering. It took effort to re-focus on his friend. "How'd you get it?"

"Computer, increase temperature by five degrees," Xavier ordered as he handed Jerant a canteen of water. "You need to keep drinking, or so they keep telling me," he said with a worried grin, which he was sure probably looked more like a grimace.

"Me and Finn were setting up a shield to the mine," Xavier continued in response to Jerant's question. "One of the infected rushed me off my feet and the rest is history. You should start to feel okay once the meds kick in, well at least I did. Finn was with me but she was fine, have they told you why we got it so badly?" He asked out of curiosity.

Slowly, Jerant shook his head, wrenching his eyes shut as he did. "No, they probably haven't figured out why yet. Finn didn't get sick at all?" He opened his eyes again, which were bright with fever despite their darker colour blue. "At least the guy who ran into you was clearly sick... I got infected by a bunch of lively children, who didn't appear to be sick at all." He slumped back in his seat, impatiently waiting for a suited person who had just walked in to finish applying several doses of something into his system. "We're going to be a walking, talking pharmacy soon," he tried to joke.

"Maybe being Betazoid has something to do with it," Xavier thought out loud. "Though biology has never been my strength."

Xavier waited for the suited men to leave before he spoke again. He was glad that he was no longer alone, and that he was joined by Jerant, he just wished it wasn't under these circumstances. "You know, those kids didn't know what they were doing, well at least it doesn't sound like they did," he said sincerely. "I know it's no excuse, but I'm sure they didn't understand the seriousness of the situation."

"Oh I don't blame those children," the other Betazoid answered, almost lightly, "they're children, they just wanted to play and they were curious. Well to a degree anyway because this little girl was the most demanding child I've ever seen... and used to getting her way, from what I felt from her." He paused a few seconds. "Biology was never my thing either, but since it's only two of us here, and none of the others seem to be sick... it must be something to do with our genetics, right? Either being Betazoid, or of mixed genetics because no other Humans got sick."

He paused again, trying to stare out the window. "How long do you think we'll be stuck in here for?"

Xavier shrugged. "I know the medical team are doing the best they can so I'm hoping it's not too long. In fact I'm glad you're here, sorry I don't mean I'm glad you're sick," he quickly corrected. "I'm just happy I have a chance to apologise about our date. I'm not sure what happened, and clearly I have some things to work on, but you didn't deserve that."

Jerant gave a slow nod in agreement. "I didn't, but maybe I shouldn't have made a comparison to a former partner..." He offered a small smile. "I got what you meant though, about being here. I'm glad you don't have to be stuck here on your own. But I didn't really expect an apology, nor would I ever have required one. Things were said and done, and it's best to move forward, right? We're both telepaths, we're bound to respond to unspoken things. I think it's more important to just keep talking, about how we feel and even if we do respond to unspoken thoughts. Especially then." He shifted and offered a trembling hand. "Let's move on," he offered.

Xavier took the man's hand and smiled, he was happy that Jerant had been so understanding, he doubt he would have been had the situation been reversed. "I appreciate that, but I want to open up to you," he said earnestly, "I've been so closed off recently, it feels nice letting someone in, the good and the bad, you know?" He tried to 'search' for Jerant's mind but found nothing. Xavier looked into the man's light eyes. "Please open up to me, let our minds connect."

For a moment, Jerant's face was a mask of confusion. "I'm not shielding," he answered, "I'm an open book Xav, I'm not closing my mind to you at all." Confusion turned into frustration as he stared back. "And you want me to be open, but it seems to me that you're not opening up either..." It didn't even occur to him that he wasn't sensing anything at all. That he had actually sensed nothing from the medical people tending to them either. He just hadn't thought of it, because it was almost second nature.

It was Xavier's turn to be confused, "I'm not..." he started then paused. He had been so preoccupied with the virus and the events of the day that he hadn't noticed. He tried to search for the medical staff outside of the shuttle, the Metis not too far from them, nothing. He couldn't detect a single mind, only his own thoughts, his own emotions, his own panic.

Xavier stood up suddenly, pulling his hand from Jerant. His eyes were wide, his forehead was sweaty, and his heart was racing. "I can't sense anyone, not a single person. Can you? Jerant can you feel anyone?" He asked in a rushed panic.

Though he couldn't sense it, Jerant did feel the same panic Xavier did. "No," he answered after several seconds of silence, "No thoughts, no emotions... nothing." He shook his head, part of him thinking this might even help getting his senses back. "I hadn't even noticed," he added in a bare whisper, suddenly feeling very faint, "I don't even know when I lost it. I'm so used to try and not read anyone.. well anyone but Savin really, that I hadn't noticed I wasn't sensing anything, at all." His eyes echoed the panic Xavier was feeling. "What if we never get it back?"

"Don't say that," Xavier said angrily. The thought of being without his senses made him feel sick to his stomach, it was every bit of him as much as his hands, legs, eyes. "Let's think about this logically," he said, trying his best to keep the panic out of his voice. He knew his strength was problem solving and this was just another problem to solve, after all, wasn't the body just a different type of ship and he could fix those easily. "This is either biological or technical. I'll check the shuttle sensors in case there's some kind of dampening field in place, can you speak to the lab coats outside, maybe they know something?"

"Xav..." Jerant paused, looking out the window towards the darkness outside. "Perhaps we should get some sleep first. Maybe we're just too tired, and it's completely dark out there. If there's any medical personnel they're over at the compound, not here. We're isolated from the rest." He paused again. "They're probably coming to check on us in the morning anyway." He realized his friend was probably just looking for something to do, to occupy himself and he really couldn't blame him. "We should get some rest first." Visibly shaking, he got up from his seat and started to inch towards the aft section of the shuttle. It was clear, the linguist was lacking any form of decent energy

Xavier didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to get rest, he wanted to scream from the rooftop. He wanted the universe to feel his pain and anguish. He wanted everyone to know how scared and alone he felt, the voices that stalked his daily life were no longer there, they had abandoned him, on this cruel planet; left him alone to die. He was about to argue that the medical staff were only a com-call away and Jerant was being a little too calm, and that maybe he was more human than Betazoid. However, Xavier saw how weak the other man was and decided against it. Damn not having his empathic senses, he was questioning himself now.

"You're right," Xavier finally admitted, though every part of him disagreed. "Maybe some rest will do us good."

The calm was definitely a façade, Jerant felt anything but calm but he also knew that going into a total panic wasn't going to help their situation. It also didn't help that he was feeling weaker by the second, something he also didn't want his companion to worry about. By the time he reached the bunkbeds, he was panting for breath, sweat pouring down his face. "Something's wrong," he managed as he fell down, not onto the bed, but just before it.

"Jerant!" Xavier said, panicked as he rushed to the man's side. He found a medkit and tugged at the medical tricorder to release it from it's housing. He managed to flip it open with one hand as his other fumbled to find the scanner that lay dormant in the back of the device. Finally getting it free, he waved it over Jerant and read the man's vitals on the small screen. Everything seemed to be dropping rapidly; pulse, blood pressure, temperature, everything. He pressed the insignia on his chest: "Xavier to medical team, emergency in the shuttlecraft, hurry."

Xavier rolled Jerant on his back, his head was lolling and his eyes appeared to be rolling. Xavier reached for the medkit again and loaded a stimulus in the hypospray. He injected it into the Jerant's arm and scanned him with the tricorder again, just as two officers in suits stomped through the shuttle doors. "I don't know what's wrong with him," Xavier said, moving out of the way so they could do their job.

The medics crowded the unconscious aide, taking several long minutes to check him before finally lifting him onto the cot. "He'll be fine," one of them grunted in Xavier's direction, while the other wrapped him tightly into a thermal blanket, piling a few more on top of it as if the thermal wasn't going to be enough. With more care than his bulky appearance and gruffy tone suggested, the medic placed a respirator over his face. "Your quick call probably saved his life. It'll be a few hours, but he'll be feeling better soon."

Once the aide was made comfortable, the medic turned to Xavier. "How are you feeling, now that we're here. Perhaps you should get into bed too, just in case."


Xavier looked at his friend and then back to the medic. It had been a long day and in all honesty he was feeling completely burnt out, not having his mental abilities was really getting to him too. "You're right, I think I'll head to bed too. Thank you for the assist," he said with a half smile.

Xavier watched as the men left and then got himself ready for bed. He crawled into the bunk and went over the events of the day, over and over in his mind. The one thing he couldn't get pass was the quietness of it all, normally his mind would be full of voices but tonight there was no one there. Just himself and his own thoughts for company. Quiet and Alone.