Goldilocks and the Three Hirogen

Posted on Sat Aug 10th, 2024 @ 12:29pm by Commander Amaya Lance & Lieutenant Commander Finnley Keating VII

Mission: Into the Qniverse
Location: Another Magical Forest
1653 words - 3.3 OF Standard Post Measure

A bright white light emerged and at first Finn thought whoever controlled the lights at the club was just having a bit of fun with the settings. That is until the light settled down and she found herself on a patch of grass in a forest surrounded by tall green trees. Confused, her eyes looked down at her own body to discover it clothed in a gingham dress with frilly lace socks and shoes that looked like they belonged to a five year old going to a halloween party. What the hell is happening? Finn's mind raced for answers as she patted herself down, looking for tools or a phaser, anything that might be of use. Eventually they made heir way to her head discovering a set of pig tails, which was the last straw in what sanity she had left.

"Ok, this has gone too far. What the hell is going on? Is this some sort of joke?" Finn stood, her eyes blazing with anger over whatever sick trick someone was playing until she spotted a familiar figure a few feet away. "Commander Lance?"

"Hmm?" Amaya sat up from the tall grass, immediately noticing the identical costume to Finn's that she was also wearing. "What in the..." she cautiously approached Keating, touching her hair and clothing in much the same confused way. "Do you have any idea how we got here?"

"No, do you? And whats with these outfits?" Finn immediately attempted to undo the pigtails only to find that every time she unraveled them, they corrected themselves back into pigtail form. Frustrated, she let out a growl. "I don't know what kind of sick joke this is, but whoever is behind it is definitely getting murdered once I figure it out!"

"Easy..." Amaya urged, sensing her frustrations. "Let's try to stay calm and figure this out logically. As much as things aren't all that...logical..." she noted, watching the pigtails magically reform. "Maybe we look for signs of civilization. Although...is it just me that feels really hungry all of a sudden?" she frowned.

Finn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, pushing down the rage she felt over whatever this was. "Now that you mention it, I am kinda hungry," her stomach softly growled which was only now noticeable as the anger had subsided. "Civilization seems like a good place to start, for both food and answers. Though I don't see anything around except...wait...is that smoke?" A small stream of grey seemed to billow up from the trees around 150 meters in the distance. "Maybe we start there?"

"Signs of life, potentially warmth..." Amaya nodded in agreement. "It's a start at least. Until we figure out where we are and what we're meant to be doing. I can't imagine we'll be living the survivalist life wearing these outfits." She set off at a slow walk in step with Finn.

Finn quietly cursed whoever had played this dirty trick the entire time as they walked toward the smoke. By the time they reached the outskirts of the small dwelling, she had exhausted every insult she could think of. "Normally I would say we should scout the area first, but I don't think there's any sneaking around in these outfits. We stick out like a sore thumb," Finn looked at Amaya. "I say we just knock on the door and see what happens. It can't get much worse, right?"

"Well, now that you've put it into the world..." Amaya smiled slightly, trying to make light of their predicament. A very brief survey of the dwelling suggested it was fairly primitive; brick-and-mortar, with no evidence of electricity or similar advancement. That meant a potentially pre-warp society, bringing with it all sorts of risks. "Let's see who's home." Raising her hand, she rapped sharply on the wooden door and waited to see if anyone answered.

When the silence persisted for almost a full minute, Finn put her own knuckles to the wood and knocked on the door for a second time. Still, no response came. She looked down and turn the knob. The door opened freely.

"I'm not necessarily suggesting we break in, but it is open," Finn said with a small shrug. "Might not hurt to check it out and see what we're up against or if there's any supplies we might be able to borrow. Or you can hang out here as the lookout," a small smirk flashed across her face before Finn vanished inside the building. She hadn't waited for a response from Amaya, because truthfully she smelled something delicious wafting through the hallway and her stomach was growling loudly enough that she didn't entirely care what her partner might think. All she could think about was food.

"Did you forget that I'm the senior officer?" Amaya winked as she joined Finn in the hallway. The moment was forgotten as she too picked up on the scent. "Mmm...where is that coming from?" The pangs in her stomach seemed to grow more urgent now, whether by the smell itself or by some other reason. She joined Finn at the door to a small dining area; three chairs and three serving bowls sat on the table. It all appeared almost freshly prepared.

"This looks delicious," Finn's eyes were wide with hunger as she looked at the bowls on the table. Her mind was a total jumble. She knew the rules of survival. It was outright lunacy to eat food without knowing its origins on an alien planet or at least scanning it first, but her stomach had taken control of her brain and had left no room for survival tactics. So, she immediately leapt for the first bowl and threw a giant spoonful into her mouth only to follow it with a loud cry. "Shit, tha was fweaking scorching, my whole mouwth is on fire!" Her tongue felt like it had immediately swollen to twice its size and caused her words to come out in a bit of a childish sounding lisp.

Amaya winced for her, wanting to offer help at first. But then her own stomach growled at her and she felt the need to consume some of the wonderful smelling food. "This one doesn't look like it's steaming so much..." she said, picking up a spoon and putting it in her mouth. Immediately her face screwed up as she struggled to process the sensations. "Ugh-" She felt it come straight back out again. "Yuck! That's...that's freezing cold! It's vile!"

"What is this sick game?!" Finn felt annoyed, but relieved that her mouth seemed to have mostly recovered from the hot porridge. "We shouldn't even be eating these, but they look so good! Why do I have no self control?!" She eyed the last bowl and cautiously dipped her finger in it first to ensure the temperature was acceptable before stuffing her face. "This is sooooo good. Why is porridge so good? This makes no sense...." Her mind tried to combat whatever was happening and rationalize it, but the effort was fruitless. "Here, try this one," she offered what was left of the bowl to Amaya.

Amaya tucked in to the offered bowl hungrily. "Mmm..." she sighed, finally sated. "That was wonderful..." She stepped back and flopped into one of the dining chairs: the smallest one, from all appearances. It creaked sharply before giving way underneath her and collapsing. "Wha-!?"

Finn bust out into a laugh before offering a hand to Amaya, helping her back up. "I guess that chair isn't made for humans. I am exhausted though," she plopped into the next chair over and was enveloped by the cushion on the massive chair. In fact her entire body seemed to have disappeared. Only a small muffled 'help' escaped from the cushiony depths.

"Goodness-" Amaya reached into the folds of the cushion, grasping what she hoped was Finn's hand and heaving her hard. "Hold on...please don't suffocate in there..." she urged, slowly and laboriously managing to pull the other woman so that at least her head was free.

Finn finally made it out of the chair, but it didn't take long for her to fall right into the next chair. "This ones perfect," she noted before swiftly falling into a deep sleep.

A little over an hour passed before muffled noises came from outside the small house. Finn had just started to stir awake before the door swung open and three hirogen stepped inside, but it didn't take long for her to come to her senses and realize that they were no loner is a safe space.

"Commander Lance," Finn nudged Amaya while keeping her voice low. "I think we have company."

"What is this?" The largest of the three hirogen spoke out, eyeing the partially eaten bowls of food left on the table. "Perhaps this means some new prey has stumbled upon our outpost?"

"Likely two of them," the youngest of the three chimed in. "Based on the track patterns on the flooring."

"Split up and find them," the oldest commanded.

"We'd better get out of here," Finn pushed herself from the chair and made for the door, but it was too late. Two of the three hirogen blocked her path while the third lunged for Amaya. With clearly no room for escape, Finn made moved to attack the two in front of her to no avail. The full belly and deep sleep had clearly worked against her and a blunt elbow to the face from their enemy promptly knocked the engineer to the ground.

"Finn-!" Amaya called out, just as the second massive hirogen restrained her arms tightly.

"Do not harm them any further," the largest spoke in a deep commanding tone. "We wouldn't want to spoil them before the hunt. Tie them up and we'll take them to the tower. We can keep them there while we plan the next hunt."