Post-Match analysis.

Posted on Sat Dec 24th, 2022 @ 1:53pm by Lieutenant Commander P’rel M.D & Lieutenant Alexis Ryan

Mission: Character Development
Location: Sickbay USS Athena
Timeline: After beam-out.
1330 words - 2.7 OF Standard Post Measure

As the four beamed into sickbay, P'rel cocked her head towards both the Romulan and Andorian whom had both materialised on biobeds, and pondered for yet another time how the computer actually achieved this feat. Both she and Ryan had materalised in their kneeling positions, and stood up together. Glancing over only briefly enough the notice the medical crew scanning and shaking their heads over the now evident corpse of the Romulan, and brief enough still to notice a second medical crew frantically working on the poor Andorian, she turned her attention instead to the curiously bereft looking Ryan. "I do not understand" she said, truthfully; "What happened to the two science officers?"

Despite the stress of the situation, and the inevitable resolution of adrenaline into a fatigue that bordered on stupor, Ryan's capacity to compartmentalise had already started shifting around information inside her head. The cases she carried were the main priority, which required medical clearance for her to present to the Command team and, from there, prepare the data chips for transfer. A certain amount of reorganisation, which she hadn't had the time for on the ship, would be preferable before Starfleet took position of all that remained of an exceptional life's work. It wasn't necessary but Alex felt compelled to ensure it was prioritised. It would give her something to focus on.

Something beyond the crushing certainty that she had just failed to save two of Starfleet's eminent genius' in their respective fields. P'rel's question was a difficult one because, in the midst of trying very hard not to think about it, of convincing herself that the job wasn't complete and that there was no time for self-recrimination, Alex couldn't find a way to respond that didn't drop her right in the middle of an admission that cut deeply. She swallowed and, eyes trained on the medics as they worked, replied without blinking.

"Their subspace field had degraded to the extent that their bio-signatures were merging. It was already collapsing and there was just no time, no power, to even attempt a separation, let alone reintegration."

It all sounded fine and above board. A neat and tidy explanation, backed up by scans, because it was the truth. That didn't remove the sting of what if.

Studying Ryan's face, P'rel was perplexed by the evident grief. She motioned for Ryan to follow as they walked to a vacant biobed, a nurse came over and was immediately discouraged by a certain look from the Vulcan. Removing a medical tricorder and scanning Ryan for the radiation signature, and for that matter anything else of note, she voiced her confusion; "Lieutenant, ours is a profession where loss is inherent...I am confused by your evident emotional state, compounded only by the fact that you knew neither of the deceased officers". She finished her scan and found nothing beyond typically raised neurochemicals, not unexpected given the past hours, and set the tricorder down. Her own side stabbing sharp pains at her as she did so.

The woman's genuine incredulity coaxed a look of controlled annoyance from the Science Chief. Once, a lifetime ago, the Vulcan would have been treated to a colourful tour of exactly what Alex thought of her lack of compassion and understanding, but composure had been a hard-earned tool and not easily squandered. That didn't stop her from wondering how comforting it must be to detach oneself from responsibility so easily. Failure produced an emotional response in those who invested so much in attempting to ensure it never came about. Alex was hardly going to apologise for that on top of everything else.

"Starfleet just lost two generational intellects, on top of an entire hand-selected crew. If there had been more time, maybe..."

Her voice trailed off, partially because it was futile to dwell on what couldn't be, but also because this wasn't necessarily the company that Alex felt comfortable displaying vulnerability to. She didn't know anyone here that well, if it came down to it. Loneliness dragged her mood downwards.

"I need to get these data chips to the Captain," she changed tact and averted her gaze to stare at the exit doors.

"Maybe...?" P'rel queried; unsure of how the sentence would have otherwise ended. She held a finger up to indicate Ryan should wait a minute, and briefly attended to the apparatus at the end of the biobed to retrieve the correct inoculation, all the while fielding mildly annoyed looks from the medical staff. Injecting first herself, she held the hypospray to Ryan's neck and looked at her for permission.

Too weary to argue, and certainly not of the right frame of mind to be intentionally antagonistic, Alex dipped her head in agreement and then fixed her gaze on yet another point that permitted introspection without accidental eye contact.

"Mariatis would have known. Even with limited time to act, she would have had a contingency." It wasn't hero worship, it was just solid admiration born of very intentional familiarisation with the woman's work. "They returned to the lab for a reason."

The truth was, Alex just wasn't egotistical enough to assume that she could have forecast what Anthea Mariatis had planned for. There was hardly much shame in failing to unravel the remarkable woman's theoretical improvisation and Alex just didn't have it in her to expect she'd ever truly be able to understand how the other woman had pulled off the impossible. Acceptance of her own limitations didn't negate the frustration of unfavorable odds, however. More time would have given Mariatis an opportunity to point them in the right direction. The intellect capable of reversing the inevitable had been right there. They'd just been too late.

It hit a little too close to home.

"The distraction we caused may have cost them their lives. That's just something we'll have to contend with now."

"The distraction we caused?" P'rel asked, unsure where Ryan was deriving blame from and uncomfortable with much or little her colleague might be ascribing to the Vulcan. "Lieutenant. It is my true belief and you and I did all we could with very limited information, resources, and indeed as you said; time...". She looked at the box of data chips in Ryan's hand, and briefly wondered how to insert security protocols into the conversation without upsetting the already distressed officer; she had to see Captain Kane anyway and possession of the Avalon data should immediately be taken into intelligence or security custody. Perhaps, she mused, there was a tactful way to go about this however.

It wasn't, Alex realised, something that she really wanted to turn into a justifiable stance. Her pragmatic side was developed enough to agree with P'rel, after all, and that was normally the part of her that won any internal debates. This was momentary frustration, an understanding of the significance of the loss, and an unwillingness to ignore the fact that the pair might have survived had things actually played out slightly differently. She had faith in Mariatas anyway, enough that she expected the woman had a plan and just ran out of time to execute it. Closing her eyes, the redheaded soldier, feeling more compelled to draw on that mentality than her analytical proclivity, expelled the last of her tension as a deep sigh.

"Whatever the case, she fought hard to preserve her data." Unintentionally perceptive, Alex rolled the shoulder of the arm the hypospray had inoculated, and nodded towards the door. "We should report to the Captain."

A fair compromise to a discussion not even needed to be had, P'rel nodded and took a step back to allow Ryan room to hop off the biobed. "Computer, locate Captain Kane"

Captain Kane is in the ready room

"Shall we?" P'rel suggested, gesturing her own arm towards the door as the two women set off for what was likely to be an interesting debrief.