Full Force

Posted on Wed Sep 14th, 2022 @ 3:58am by Jerant van Rijn & Lieutenant Xavier Leiko

Mission: Scylla and Charybdis
Location: Nacelle Control Room, Deck 8
1229 words - 2.5 OF Standard Post Measure

At first, Jerant didn't quite register what was wrong. But as he woke up further from a restless sleep, he realized that there was in fact, quite a lot of noise. And not the kind that one could just mute by turning off the source of a sound. He pressed his hands over his ears, but that didn't do anything to quiet the noise. Had he grown so used to the quiet, that he didn't recognize mental noise? And more specifically, the thoughts and emotions of others?

He stumbled towards his bathroom to get himself dressed, but he found it increasingly difficult to concentrate. It felt like it took forever to complete the simple task of putting on a single sock. Or hours, to get himself fully dressed. By the time he had done so, he felt like he had the weight of the entire ship's emotional state on his shoulders. "Xav...it's Jerant...can we talk? Somewhere...quiet? And I do mean, really quiet?"

Xavier was currently on the floor in the nacelle control room, he had his hands over his ears as he rocked slightly. For months he had wanted his telepathy back, he would have given anything, done anything to be himself again. Now all he wanted was for the noise to stop. When his combadge chirped he wasn't even sure it was real, was anything real anymore? "I'm in the nacelle control room on deck eight," he said through slightly gritted teeth. In honesty, he didn't want anyone to see him like this, but maybe Jerant could help him, or kill him, whichever was easier.

Rather than run all the way and get even more exposure, Jerant got himself transported to Xavier's location. It wasn't common practice to do, he knew, but he figured this did somewhat fall into the 'emergency' category. At least there was no-one else in the room to add to the current sense of noise and Xavier was easy to spot. Seeing him curled up on the floor, hands over his ears, Jerant knew enough as he knelt at his side. "You too huh?" he whispered as he nudged the man, a look of despair on his face. "I feel like I'm suddenly hearing everyone, all at once. Everyone, but you...you're lost in the storm." There were just too many, and he was desperate to find the one voice he wanted to hear, one to focus on and hopefully quiet the storm. Was Xavier feeling the same way as he was right now?

"What's...what's going on?" Xavier asked as he barely registered the words that Jerant was saying. As a young Betazoid, he had spent years learning to build mental barriers to protect himself from this level of an overwhelming sense of despair. Maybe losing his abilities the way he had destroyed those barriers, or maybe he just no longer had control. He thought back to those lessons and focused hard on what the instructors had told him. Pick a point Xavier, one point and then anchor yourself to it as though your life depended on it. He tried to find Jerant's mind, reaching out with invisible hands, searching for the surface of the water.

As he was focused solely on Xavier, there was a very familiar sensation within the storm of voices, as if he was being reached out to. He grasped at it as one might do for a straw, except he did so mentally, using similar techniques he'd been taught as a child. It didn't quiet the storm, but it did give him something to possibly ground himself. "I don't know what's going on," he admitted, "I woke up to hearing everyone on the ship, where last night it was only the odd whisper. "I wished for my telepathy so badly, but not like this. This is driving me mad." He reached out to take Xavier's hand between his. "What is the most quiet place on the ship? Is there anywhere we might...not hear everyone?"

Xavier didn't reply at first, instead he focused on the lifeline that he knew Jerant was trying to give him. He bridged the gap and tentatively stretched his mental muscles, pulling on every ounce of discipline he had ever been taught back home. Eventually, his mind became more focused though he couldn't filter out the noise, he learned to bend it around himself, shunting it away from his head, and letting it seep into his less conscious thoughts. It was like listening to a full orchestra but choosing to zero in on one singular instrument. The other instruments were still there and the noise levels didn't change, but the mind told the ears what it wanted to process and what was irrelevant. The rhythm grew stronger and as it did, Xavier found himself being able to cope a little better.

"You're looking at it," Xavier eventually replied, his forehead clammy and his hands shaking slightly. "Something about the warp coils, they usually act as a barrier as such. For some reason it's not helping today."

"Learn something new every day," Jerant answered, his eyes never leaving the man before him, the hand within his an additional point of focus for him. "I learned to shield like Vulcans do, but it's not helping either. It's like every time I try to build a wall, it gets knocked down almost instantly. I guess the only plus on this, is that the fog is finally gone." He paused, offering what was intended as an encouraging smile but probably looked more like a grim smile. "Reckon the other telepaths on the ship are in a similar boat now, or do you think it's just us?" Using Xavier as a point of focus, did help a little, but he didn't seem to possess the skill Xavier had even though he could feel the other Betazoid was gaining some focus.

"I don't know," Xavier said as he shook his head, his damp hair sticking to the back of his neck. "This could be a side effect of the illness we both suffered or some kind of psychic attack. Either way, we should probably head to sickbay. I'm feeling slightly better now but I can't hold this level of concentration much longer and you don't look much better."

"I suppose you're right..." Jerant sighed softly, though he maintained the smile for Xavier's benefit. Slowly, he reached to touch the man's cheek, briefly but affectionally under the pretence of brushing a strand of hair from his face. "I don't really fancy being stuck in a shuttle again but if this means having some measure of quiet again..." He shook his head. "I want it back so badly, but not at this level, I've never experienced it being this loud before." He crawled back to his feet, pulling Xavier up with him. "Can you walk?"

Xavier slowly got to his feet, his legs almost giving way but by sheer determination they didn't. He nodded, not wanting to use more energy than he had to, to try and form words. He pulled Jerant close and somehow the two men managed to stay on their feet whilst supporting the other. He wanted to open his mind to let Jerant in but he daren't. With a slight movement of his head, they headed toward the door.