Unjoined Thinking

Posted on Fri May 27th, 2022 @ 4:42am by Lieutenant Kevan Dash & Lieutenant Didrea Zade

Mission: Character Development
Location: USS Athena, Security offices
Timeline: Between missions, after "A Stroll"
1954 words - 3.9 OF Standard Post Measure

By the time Zade made her way back to the security offices, her coffee was long gone. Her mood had shifted from here usual more positive work face to one that read 'why am I dealing with this so early?' After the conversation with Kane, she knew that there was a lot to do before the next mission. The first thing she wanted to do was address these alleged rumors that had the captain so concerned. A part of her was hoping that it wouldn't be as bad as he made it out to be, but she'd have to have the conversation to know for sure. Thanks to the ship's grapevine, it didn't take long for her to figure out who to address first. Looking around the security office, she found the Trill she was looking for and approached him. "Lieutenant Dash?" she asked, making sure it was him before introducing herself, giving a friendly little smile. "Lieutenant Zade. You got a couple minutes?"

"Sure thing," Kevan nodded. He pointed through to the vacant CoSec's office and followed her in. He'd not met this other Trill before, though he knew she was new inbound from the support team from the Colossal. She was older than he was, possibly unjoined from the way she stood - he always found the Trill with symbionts seemed to carry themselves a little differently. "Welcome aboard. Did you need some help finding your way around?" he asked

As they went into what would now be her office, Zade realized that she hadn't actually been in the space yet. The room was small, enough to probably fit up to three people comfortably. Two chairs were in the room facing each other, with a desk between them. A computer sat on top of the desk on the side closest to the door, and the wall behind the desk held a large LCARS display, waiting to be used. "Thanks. I've been trying to familiarize myself with the ship, but it wasn't easy when most of my time was on Ithaca. I might take you up on finding my way around, but another time."

Gesturing for him to take the non-desk seat, she started to walk around the desk, then paused. The idea of sitting there felt unfamiliar and perhaps even a little intimidating to her, like she was about to sit where she wasn't supposed to, and she stared at it for a second before opting to lean against the desk instead. "I asked to meet because I like knowing who I'm going to be working with." A slight frown crossed her features as she debated what to bring up first, her fingers lightly drumming on the desk. From what she gathered about the rumors Kane mentioned, she guessed that it would be a sore spot. Part of her wanted to get it out of the way first to 'rip the bandaid off' as the saying goes, but she didn't want it to taint the part where she wanted to get to know him better. Deciding to chance it, she added, "there is something that was brought to my attention that I wanted to discuss first, to get it out of the way."

"Sure, whatever you want to talk about," he shrugged.

Zade didn't know what to think about how casual his response sounded, but she did realize that she didn't give him much to work with in terms of a response. "I've been informed that something happened in the mess hall the other day that involved two security officers intimidating the chief of engineering. Knowing I probably heard a version of the story that's missing details, I'd like to hear the story from someone who was there." Glancing at him with a neutral-but-slightly-disappointed expression, she added, "namely, I want to know -if you and the other involved were in fact intimidating the chief- why." Despite her disappointment at the news, she was trying to keep an open mind about it.

"Woah woah woah...intimidating Finn?" he jumped up indignantly. "That was nothing to do with Finn. That was Teyo being a bit of a douche and Mason being a little drama fairy." He crossed his arms, somewhat defensively. "People can go around saying all they want, but they better get their facts straight. Besides, all that is done with now."

Shifting her weight slightly, Zade put up her two hands. She was surprised by the outburst for sure, but she didn't mean to get him defensive. "Easy there," she said, treading carefully. It was a weird situation in her eyes because it sounded like there was some personal issues going on, the details of which she didn't really care about. She hoped that her crewmates would be adults and resolve their issues on their own time. It was when it conflicted with duty that it became her problem. "I did say that I probably didn't get some details, and it was not my intention to blame you. I don't need detail, I just want to know what happened because I can't ignore when something involves a senior officer, regardless of how involved the senior officer was."

"I can't imagine she was complaining too much about it either..." Kevan huffed. "Well, whatever happened, it's over with. And yes, I can be professional about it." He remained with his arms folded. "Was that all?"

Resting her hands back on the desk, Zade stared at Kevan, reading his body language and his expression. As she suspected, this was too personal for her to get involved in beyond this, but his reaction didn't quite match his promise to remain professional. "I expect you to be professional about it. Don't get me involved beyond this conversation," she said flatly, dropping the 'tell me more' part of the conversation. "I'm pressing this because of departmental appearances. The Captain got the impression that it was security's doing and he isn't happy about it. It makes our jobs harder if people think security officers boss around others, regardless of who started it and what the intent was." The irony of her words was not lost on her; she was well aware of the first impression she made and that she needed to take her own advice. "Just, please be more mindful of how others may perceive the situation next time. Got it?"

"Whatever." Kevan shrugged. "I'm not the one you need to tell to be mindful of people's feelings." His mind flashed angrily towards Mason again, but he didn't say it out loud. "Like I said, I'll do my job."

"Good." Zade took a breath, seeing that that part of the conversation was clearly over. The silence steeped for a moment as she figured out where to go from here. While it seemed like Fenn was more the one to blame, he wasn't in her department, so she would leave it to Finn to deal with him. Though perhaps she should follow up with Finn later. "Now that that's out of the way," she began, trying to find some decent transition. When Zade spoke, she tried to use a gentler tone to help ease the tension that built in the small room, "the main reason I summoned you is because I want to get to know you a little better. Like your strengths, if you specialize in anything in particular..."

Kevan smirked, satisfied that the distasteful element of the conversation had ended.

"You want to get to know me better you need to buy me dinner first," he replied with a charming wink. "I know - that's not what you meant. But we're both Trill. Unjoined, right? I guess it tells you enough that I never made it through the selection commission for a symbiont. Immaturity doesn't bode well for a host. So they say." He glanced her over. "What reason did they give you?"

Zade nodded, glad to see that the man was still open to conversation. "They told me the available symbionts are all happily joined at the moment and to get in line," she said with a shrug, ignoring the dinner comment. While it would be a dream come true to join, she knew that if it hadn't happened yet, it probably wouldn't. While the doctor had mentioned she was still fit and able to be a host, even Zade knew she was approaching the age where the risk of complications would increase. Also given that she was never in one point in space for long, it was that much harder to be available as a host. It really came down to luck, which just hadn't been in her favor.

She wasn't that surprised that the committee said he was immature, given what she just saw from him. It was understandable to get defensive when falsely accused, but that defensiveness could either be expressed or handled gracefully. He clearly chose the former. That to her spoke volumes. "During the initiate program, I heard of a host who was a reckless daredevil, and he nearly took his symbiont with him when he died. I can understand their cautiousness."

"Sure. But that's not living, though, is it? Sometimes they're so worried about making sure the symbionts live on and retain all those memories. But are they really living if they're so selective and safe?" Kevan just shrugged. His was an unpopular opinion, potentially jaded from years of feeling abandoned by the commission. "I guess you decided not to just 'stay in line' then?"

For a very brief moment, Zade's nose scrunched to reflect her disagreement. "The selection is based more on the emotional resilience of the host than what the host does in their free time," she pointed out. She shifted her weight so she could cross her arms. "I'd still accept a symbiont, I just recognize that not staying in one place lowers my chances."

"To almost zero." He shrugged. It wasn't that he didn't care, but the fact that some Trill still felt so strongly about it amused him. The Symbiosis commission was, in his mind, overly reliant on traditions that were quickly becoming outdated. "I'm happy to live and to die knowing that my memories won't get sucked out and put in someone else's body for the next few generations."

Zade nodded slowly, despite her disagreement with how he described symbiosis. He didn't have to agree with her, and she recognized that. "I won't lose sleep over it if I never join." The reminder that her memories would stay with the symbiont did linger in her head though. Even if she were in the right place at the right time and were still healthy enough to accept a symbiont, unless she resolved her issues with Darius, would she even still be able to handle it? The idea of someone else knowing such intimate detail about her past was a little off-putting.

If there was a sliver of doubt that crept onto her expression, it wasn't there for long. "For someone who's not interested in joining, you certainly have a lot of opinions about it," she pointed out.

"I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things," he replied casually. "I'm an open book for opinions. If anyone cares."

There was a pause as Zade watched him. "Noted." He didn't really answer her question, but she had other things to do and could just check his file later. She found that files didn't really explain things completely, plus it helped with conversation. "Well, being thrown into the department head position has left be with things to do, so I'll end our conversation here."

"Awesome." Kevan rapped his knuckles on the desk. "See you around, Lieutenant."