Senses

Posted on Tue Feb 2nd, 2021 @ 1:06pm by Lieutenant Xavier Leiko & Lieutenant Commander Savin

Mission: The Shadow of Arachne
Location: Tertiary Warpcore
Timeline: Set right after "Dude, Where's My Warp Core?"
1032 words - 2.1 OF Standard Post Measure

As the others filed out of Engineering and made their way back to their duty stations, Xavier grabbed Lieutenant Savin's arm in an effort to get his attention. "Hey, I just wanted to see if you were okay?" He asked in a concerned tone. "The emotions I picked up from you earlier were pretty intense and I know from personal experience that these illusions can really mess you up."

Savin gently pulled his arm from the officer's grasp, the concerned tone lost on him but not the general feeling that came from the man. "I feel... shaken," the counselor admitted, "to lose my sight and telepathy is my worst fear. To not know which way is where, or even who is near is extremely unsettling." He paused. "Witnessing what you did, must not have been easy on you either."

The Romulan's question caught Xavier off guard. How the hell did he know what Xavier had witnessed? Oh wait... Savin literally just said he was a telepath. 'Why am i so jumpy?' The Betazoid thought to himself. "I can't even imagine what that must have been like for you, to be cut off from all of your senses at the same time, especially during all this. You did well to keep your cool." Xavier had intentionally side stepped the question regarding his own experiences.

"Did I?" Savin arched a single eyebrow at him. "I do not think I have ever felt so afraid. Panic, is probably a more accurate feeling which I experienced, but with nowhere to go, and having no idea where I was, panic was not something I could afford. I am used to not having hearing, my other senses make up for that to a degree. For me, losing my telepathic sense feels worse than losing my sight."

"I completely understand that," Xavier said sincerely. Out of his three brothers, Xavier was the strongest one telepathically. It wasn't something he relied on, especially being away from home, but the thought of being without it scared him more than he cared to admit. It was a part of him, a part of who he was. But the Betazoid didn't rely on it the same way that Savin did. How frightening that must have been, especially coupled with his loss of sight too. "Most people in your situation would have panicked and maybe done something stupid, but you didn't. You're stronger than you think."

"I was raised Vulcan," Savin replied, as if that said it all. "I grew up learning to control my feelings and emotions. Even though I rely on them for communication."

"Well that does make a lot of sense then, disciplined mind and all that." Vulcans had always fascinated Xavier, their two species were so similar and yet so very, very different. Vulcans buried their emotions, whereas Betazoids were taught to embrace their emotions fully. In fact, one of his mother's many criticisms was that he was 'too human'. "If you don't mind me asking, is there nothing that can be done about your hearing?"

"There possibly is, but after a failed attempt which I had reversed, I do not wish to. It is part of who I am, part of my identity." Savin shrugged. "It defines me. Before my attempt at restoring my hearing, I never had any either. I was born deaf."

Xavier sympathetically went to put his hand on Savin's shoulder, then he remembered his Vulcan upbringing, thought better of it, and changed his mind mid-motion. "Well we are lucky to have you on the ship and I for one am very grateful you was there to stop my ass being handed to me by Lieutenant Keating."

"Do you not have self-defense training?" Savin asked, "surely, you would be able to defend yourself in case of need?" If that was not the case, Savin found that somewhat worrisome.

"Of course I do," Xavier answered quickly, a bit defensively. "My head wasn't in the game. And you saw her, she was like a wild animal, thinking she was fighting the Breen."

"I did not see her," Savin reminded him, "I was incapacitated due to the illusion I was trapped in. I have no detailed knowledge of what has transpired, other than what I have now been told since coming out of it. All I was aware of, was being dragged across the ship."

"I meant towards then end, right before you did the Vulcan nerve pinch thing."

"Ah... Yes, she was very... uncoordinated. But, she too was trapped in an illusion it seems, albeit different than mine. You have not experienced anything out of the ordinary?" He might have asked already, but he was feeling a little unhinged and thus his memory felt as though it was lacking.

Xavier stopped to consider his answer for a second. "Yes, yes I did. In fact, that's one of the reasons I wanted to speak to you. As a Betazoid I'm taught not to hide from my emotions but instead to embrace them, deal with them in real time. The part human in me tries to bury things deep, the Betazoid in me knows better, and that's the part I should be listening to now." Xavier knew he was rambling and so took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm going to need a few sessions with you Counsellor. I need to express everything that happened to me in the last few hours and confront it head on."

Savin nodded. "But not now. Come see me in the morning, for now, I need you to try and unwind if you can. I need to do so as well, I am currently not capable of offering sage advice. I feel unhinged and I need to get myself together first. Is that acceptable?"

Xavier nodded. "Of course, I think my brain would explode if we talked now. Thank you."

"I should hope not..." The expression was somewhat lost on the counselor. "I will see you in the morning then lieutenant." He gave a quiet nod before walking away.

Xavier smiled at the confused look on the Romulan's face, nodded his head and turned and headed in the opposite direction.