Recapturing that Feeling

Posted on Sun Jul 12th, 2020 @ 8:58pm by Commander Taeler Santu M.D.

Mission: In the Family
Location: Holodeck 1, Deck 5, USS Athena
Timeline: MD06 - Evening
2144 words - 4.3 OF Standard Post Measure

With a bit of hesitation, Santu stepped up to the doors of the holodeck. She had reserved this some time back and had almost forgotten about it when the computer had reminded her of it. It seemed silly now, looking back on it. It had been a spur of the moment thing, but the holodecks had been occupied at the time. People were taking some well-earned rest after days and days of high tension both on the ship and on the surface. Perhaps this was an opportunity for her to let that go, to remember some of the good memories that they had made during these tumultuous days.

The doors parted and she stepped in. The street she stepped onto was rather busy, people rushing around her going about their business. She didn't recognise the streets or shops suddenly surrounding her. She looked around at the doors of the holodeck phasing out of existence behind her. Perhaps this was a bad idea, perhaps she should just go back to her quarters. She took in a breath through her nose and sighed. No. She was here for a reason.

With a brisk pace she walked down the street, gazing into the shop windows trying to find the one she was looking for. Santu had never been one for shopping, she never had the opportunity when she was young and after she returned to Bajor there were other concerns that took priority, primarily her mental health. She had learned so many techniques to cope with the trauma, and they had even applied multiple non-intrusive therapies to make her more accepting of how the first decades of her life had shapen up to be. But now she was here and she needed to deal with the fact that she had no idea what she was doing, but there were people looking at her, waiting for instructions. An answer that she couldn't provide them.

There had been a moment during the last assignment that she didn't have that feeling, just a moment where she could just let herself go. Not be an ex-resistance fighter, not be an ex-prisoner of war, not be a doctor or an XO. Just be a young woman. Just someone that was being taken care of. She spotted what she had been looking for through the shop window. She couldn't help a small smile from forming on her features, "Well then..." she told herself to gather some courage, which was stupid because this entire thing had been programmed to cater to her every need. It wasn't real, but that didn't mean she didn't need it.

Stepping inside the shop a small metal bell over the door was hit by the opening door. Santu startled a bit by that, looking up and realising she was super tense about this whole ordeal. She let out a nervous laugh and stepped inside. The shop was well lit, primarily from the huge window in the front, and the colours of all the fabrics around the room really played with the incoming sunlight.

A petite woman stepped forward from behind a curtain and smiled radiantly at Santu, her olive skin seemed to soak in the incoming sunlight cascading off the rainbow of colours around her, "Good evenin', miss, how may I help you?" her accent reminded her of one of her command school colleagues.

"I... eh..." Santu looked around, she hadn't really thought this far ahead, "I'm Taeler..." She looked around again, so many fabrics, it was almost overwhelming her, "I was. I was wondering if you could make me a dress."

"Why of course darlin'," The woman motioned her to come into the store further, "Call me Mary. Now, what's the occasion?"

Santu shook her head a bit, she should've really thought this through before stepping into the store, "Oh. No occasion. Just looking for a nice dress. Doesn't have to be all fancy and stuff. Something. Nice," She looked around the room again, "a colour that suits me," She felt her shoulders were tense, and she shrugged to try and loosen them up a bit, trying to care a little less, "something long, classy, something easy to dance in."

"Are you goin' to a ball, Cinderella?" Mary walked around the room a bit picking up fabrics left and right in different colours as Santu seemed to rattle on, "Tryin' to catch the attention of Prince Charmin'?" She gave the hoodie and sweatpants the blonde was wearing a once over.

"Cinderella? Prince who?" Santu shook her head, didn't know who it was she was referring to, "No. Ehm. Just. Some fancy dance." She followed Mary's eyes and realised that she had already been in relax wear before making her way out there.

Mary looked at her a bit and smile, "Don't worry, relax a little, hun, it'll be fun." She motioned for the woman to follow her towards the back of the shop, "Stand here, let's see what your colour is."

Santu looked at the slightly elevated round podium surrounded by mirrors, a ring light in the floor and on the ceiling above her. It was really illuminating her, making it impossible to hide from the reflections she saw in the mirror. She saw someone she barely recognised. She was tired. It had been a long couple of days. Hell, it had been a long couple of years, "Blue maybe?"

"Wow, you're really new to this, ain't you?" Mary shook her head and draped a beautiful glossy dark olive green fabric over her shoulder, "look at that. Beautiful."

Giving a slow nod Santu allowed her hand to trace over the fabric draped over her shoulder, it was soft, smooth, she knew it was also an illusion, but still, it felt good.

"How about a nice pink?" Mary replaced the green with a coral pink hue, also complimented Santu's relatively warm skin tone really well.

Santu shook her head, she wasn't really a fan of that colour, "I think the other one was better." She wanted the green back.

"Alright hold up," Mary put a deep coloured orange over her shoulder, "Hold on." She took a step aside and disappeared from Santu's line of sight.

So the Bajoran just stood there, hand idly petting the dark orange velvet over her shoulder. With every down stroke it became slightly darker, with every upstroke it went back to the brighter colour. Absentmindedly she stood there until her quiet meditation was interrupted by Mary.

"Sorry to interrupt," Mary jokingly interjected herself and got the orange fabric back before putting a light blue on her shoulder, "if you want blue, then this is the kind you want to go for. More light and breezy, with warm undertones."

The colour slightly reminded her of the Starfleet medical uniform, it was a colour of comfort for her, which also told her she really shouldn't pick that one. This was about trying to get out of her comfort zone, not more into it. Then again she had already taken such huge steps to make it all the way up here on this tiny podium, "I think you're right, Green is better."

Mary smiled, "that why I'm still in business." she took the other fabrics away and put the green one back draped over her shoulders, "So you wanted a long dress, any other things I should keep in mind? Or can I just take your stunnin' figure and run with it?"

Santu was slightly surprised at the way Mary had commented on her figure and looked down at her slate grey Starfleet issue sweatpants and hoodie. She figured that response had been programmed in to make her feel good about herself and sighed a bit at the realisation, "it has to be a long dress, and I'd like for it to fully cover my back."

"Ah, but girl, I think you could really get away with showing a little skin," Mary gave her shoulder an encouraging squeeze as she said it, looking at Santu in the mirror.

Santu quickly shook her head, "No. No, I don't think so." She felt herself get all warm and worked up at the idea, it had been bad enough that the Paratans had insisted on her wearing a low cut dress. She had been able to cover most of her shoulders with the shawl they had also provided at her insisting that she wanted to cover them up. It had also helped that the room had been dark enough once the dancing started for nobody to really notice the scars on her back.

"Alright, I'm sorry," Mary immediately took a step back, it was clear that Santu didn't want to budge on this, the holographic woman had to acquiesce to the request. "Allow me to take some measurements, can you please lift your shirt?" The woman rolled out a yellow tape-measure and stood ready to wrap it around the Bajoran woman.

"Can't you just take a scan or something?" Santu felt sweat culminating in the small of her back, this had been a terrible idea. She was starting to wonder why she had wanted to come in here in the first place. The women over at Paratus had been three of them, they had overwhelmed her, and taken all the measurements before she could even stop them. It had been a whirlwind and all the attention that they had given her gave her a genuine rush at the time. Now she was standing here in a brightly lit room, with one woman, a holographic one but a woman nonetheless, who was making her all self-conscious about her body and its myriad of flaws.

"A scan? You mean like an x-ray?" Mary wondered out loud, tape-measure hanging limply over her arm, "Darlin' if you want a beautiful dress, made to fit your beautiful figure, you'll need to trust me." She started walking away towards the front door, and locked it. She then walked back and from the side wheeled a room divider between themselves and the shop window, "There, perfect privacy. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Cinderella. Trust me, I've seen it all."

Santu shook her head a bit, "It's alright, thank you." She wanted to step off the podium but then felt a pang of discomfort shoot through her body. If she walked out now she would lose the chance to discover a part of herself. She swallowed a lump in her throat and lifted her shirt. Her back turned away from the mirrors allowed her to not see the scarring herself but she knew it was there and she knew Mary could see it.

Mary took a moment, contemplating whether to comment on it. Seemingly deciding against it she wrapped the cold yellow tape measure around the blond woman's hips, "alright, thank you." She moved the tape measure up slightly, measuring right under where Santu had gathered up her hoodie, around her waist. Finally, she decided that it was enough to measure her chest over the top of her clothes and just take it in after the first fitting, "you know, there's a great many people around these parts that were mistreated not long ago."

"I'm not really from around here, passing though," Santu hung her head a bit as she lowered her shirt, "When can you have the dress ready?" She really didn't want to go into the whole 'oh lord what happened to you, poor child' thing. She'd had enough of that when she returned home on Bajor. She'd had even more of it when she first made it into Starfleet. The psych evaluations had been rather gruelling for her. She was just here to get a dress.

"Three days or so, to get the form and measurements close enough for a first fitting, then another day for some adjustments to get it just right. Would that work for you, ma'am?" Mary had become a lot more business-like now, the programme seemingly triggering some sort of back up personality for the shopkeep.

Santu nodded, "That'll do," she stepped off the podium and looked at Mary, "anything else you need from me?"

Mary solemnly shook her head, "not at this time, we'll get your dress in tip-top condition for you before the end of the week." Then a warm smile crossed the woman's features, "I hope it'll be everything you could've wished for."

Another nod from the Bajoran as she started to make her way towards the shop's exit, "as do I," it had come out a bit more somberly than she had intended it to, she turned and smiled at the woman, "thank you so much for your time and effort, Mary, I really appreciate it." With that, she turned and rushed out of the shop. This had been a bad idea, standing in the middle of the street she called out, "Computer, end programme."